Why ya gotta do me like that, Valentine's Day?

I'm sorta sappy, and huggy and lovey and stuff.

I adore a good Real-Life love story, I cry at weddings, etc.

It would follow that Valentine's Day would be one of my favorite holidays...

But Valentine's Day can kiss my ass.

It pretty much, without fail, always lets me down.

And it ain't my expectations, I can tell you that much.

I know we've never had any money, so all I really want is a token, a small romantic gesture.

A little bouquet of flowers (from like TJ's, not a doz. roses)...
Maybe a little love note?
Perhaps heart-shaped cookie?
A mix tape?
Or, dinner at our favorite burger hole, but we have to get all dressed up?
A Romantic Movie?
Something that he put some thought into.

SOMETHING!

Sigh.
But, there's always a road block to my romantical hopes.
My husband.

He is loving and affectionate and wonderful, but he's not romantic.

Our first Valentine's Day together, He bought me a comic book (he also didn't make reservations anywhere, nor were there any flowers or cards to speak of).  I like comic books, but I'm not an avid fan, so I was pretty sure that was his way of telling me he wanted to just be friends....nope, he's just not the romantic sort....

Sigh...

Part of the problem are his delusions of grandeur.
I think he feels like if it doesn't involve diamonds and tropical getaways, it's just not worth doing.
Which in it's own way, is romantic, albeit it completely neurotic.

I will say, this year, was not TOTALLY his fault.

I got sick on Friday, and continued to get worse through the weekend. By yesterday, I was running a fever and could barely breathe.

[Also? On Sunday? My iTouch was accidentally  drowned. Completely.Shitty.Weekend]

So off to the doctor, I went.  Exam, Steroid shot-in-the-ass, xrays and $500 later, I'm sent home with a massive respiratory infection and a prescription.

Really? FML.

(Today, I have a follow up that's probably going to cost me around $200.)

Not feeling the love.

So I call my dear, sweet, husband to tell him what's going on, and also to tell him how much I love him, and he's my favorite Valentine, etc.  Apologize that I couldn't get him a card...which he's understanding about because I'm so ill.  And Frankly? He doesn't really care.  He's a dude.

So on his way home he calls and asks if he can bring me anything home.
When I'm sick, I want Cheezits and Gatorade.  I just do.
So he assures me that he will pick it up and be on his way....



Here's where I should know better. 
He'll come home and hand me Cheezits and Gatorade.
He'll give me a kiss and say how sorry he is that I feel like crap.

But he will not surprise me a card, or flowers, or a Valentine's cookie. No matter how much I hope he will.

Sigh.

He would if I asked him too, but where's the romaticalness in that?

That's RIGHT. There is NONE.


SIGH.

But I know he loves me.  With all his heart.  And?  I did get my Cheezits.

Some girls get candlelight, some get snack crackers.
Love takes all kinds, I guess.



I love you Querido.




I hope you all felt the love this Valentine's Day...in your own "special" way.

XOXOX!

CJ

Crushed.

I've got a lot of things weighing on my mind lately.
(Ya know, because that's new for me 'n stuff.)

Several of these things are topics I want to blog about.
Mostly as a catharsis for myself..in the hopes that if I get it out all on "paper,"  it'll stop eating at me...

Nightmares

Money Woes

Family Planning

Fear of failure on an all-consuming level

Ghosts of childhoods past

But those things will have to wait. O has a gnarly cold and given the amount of times he's hacked/sneezed in my face, I'll be quick to follow suit.

I'm excited, aren't you?

I know you're devastated that you can't read more of me, soooo, I bequeath* you with a gift:

This GLORIOUS Blog

I have a serious blog-crush on its author. It is one of the few blogs that I truly look forward to daily...

She's frank
Genuine
She's got a wicked sense of humor
She writes about love and joy and life and pain in a way that makes you feel like you're sharing in on her secrets, and you are honored to get the chance.
She's a wife and a mama....but do not mistake her for your traditional "Mommy Blog" 'cos you won't be getting any of those rainbows and gumdrops.

Readers are in for another kind of treat--delicious reality.  Mmmm....

She may not be everyone's cup O' Tea, but I adore her, and I think you should give it a sip.






*I am the only one who thinks that the word bequeath sounds a bit "off-color" when you say it aloud? No? Never mind then...

....That intoxicating scent, you ask?

Why it's just a little Clorox and Antibacterial Febreeze potion, darling. My own creation, you know.

My little family has been a group of Sicky McYuckyucks.

We spent the weekend miserable and going back and forth to the Kid's Clinic.

(I missed Blog Sugar which really bummed me out.)

I spent today laundering, scrubbing, cloroxing, and febreezing everything in sight.

It's been a long day. I need a shower and some good hand moisturizer. STAT.

At least everything is shiny and clean.....

Although, I have a feeling that come Thursday, it will all have seemed like a mirage amidst the debris of a Husband and Baby Boy.

Their capacity for destruction catches me off guard EVERY TIME.