Hear ye, Hear ye:

My husband would like it known that he is not a completely insensitive jackass.

He feels as though my Valentine's Post was rather slanderous.

[When I pointed out that it wasn't untrue, he made his sad face....poor man.]

He blamed it all on a tragic miscommunication, and vowed to make it up to me....

His first attempt, the day after V-Day, well, it didn't work out as he'd hoped...


He, sweetly, brought me home a heart-shaped box of candy, a box of jellybellys, and a silly singing monkey*...


All super valentinesy.  Yay!!!

Except I hate boxed candy.
And Jellybeans.
He has been told this before. Often.


He forgets things. Often.

Hello!! He was focused on the Valentine's Day theme....
Made perfect sense.

I just had to laugh.  It was too funny not to laugh.
Husby just made his sad face again.
Poor, sad, spouseface.


He was going to make it up to me, damn it!
What did I want?



What did I want?????



SPRINKLES CUPCAKES.
(which I had mentioned several times BEFORE Valentines Day...ahem.)


Ohhhhhhh yes.

So.very.Deeeelish....

OH! And lunch at my favorite Mexican joint that we never go to because it's 40 minutes away.

Ummmmm, what could be better?!

Nothing.  



So last Saturday?  
That's what I got. 
Cupcakes and CheesyMexicanBuenoness....
 YUM. 

It was a great day. For the whole Family! 
(O had a quesadilla and got beans in his hair, hooray!) 

Husband is all redeemed and stuff.  He is a peach of a man.


But really?
If we're honest about the situation?
This was all my fault.

So sayeth my loving husband:

If you had just dictated to me what you wanted, then I would have gotten it, and everyone would've been happy.  I need you to help me help YOU be happy. Just ask and you shall receive...oh, and write it down, 'kayThanks.**


Sigh.

Dictation it is!

My birthday is next month....
You better believe there is going to be a list!

I'm going to start that list as of....
now.

When it's done, I will post it here.

It will be Written AND Public.


I shall be blameless and well-gifted.


Ha.





[Just so you don't think he's all neglected, he got some pretty awesome gifties, FYI]















*Okay, the monkey?  He has these huge cartoony Frank eyes and sings the L.O.V.E Song.  Tre Creepy....
O loves it!


**He really would give me just about anything I want...if he could just remember what it was....writing down and blatant hints that aren't really hints but flat-out requests + reminders are key in our marriage.  I need to let go of the surprise option....see?  It really IS my fault!  Shhh.  Don't tell him....

Why ya gotta do me like that, Valentine's Day?

I'm sorta sappy, and huggy and lovey and stuff.

I adore a good Real-Life love story, I cry at weddings, etc.

It would follow that Valentine's Day would be one of my favorite holidays...

But Valentine's Day can kiss my ass.

It pretty much, without fail, always lets me down.

And it ain't my expectations, I can tell you that much.

I know we've never had any money, so all I really want is a token, a small romantic gesture.

A little bouquet of flowers (from like TJ's, not a doz. roses)...
Maybe a little love note?
Perhaps heart-shaped cookie?
A mix tape?
Or, dinner at our favorite burger hole, but we have to get all dressed up?
A Romantic Movie?
Something that he put some thought into.

SOMETHING!

Sigh.
But, there's always a road block to my romantical hopes.
My husband.

He is loving and affectionate and wonderful, but he's not romantic.

Our first Valentine's Day together, He bought me a comic book (he also didn't make reservations anywhere, nor were there any flowers or cards to speak of).  I like comic books, but I'm not an avid fan, so I was pretty sure that was his way of telling me he wanted to just be friends....nope, he's just not the romantic sort....

Sigh...

Part of the problem are his delusions of grandeur.
I think he feels like if it doesn't involve diamonds and tropical getaways, it's just not worth doing.
Which in it's own way, is romantic, albeit it completely neurotic.

I will say, this year, was not TOTALLY his fault.

I got sick on Friday, and continued to get worse through the weekend. By yesterday, I was running a fever and could barely breathe.

[Also? On Sunday? My iTouch was accidentally  drowned. Completely.Shitty.Weekend]

So off to the doctor, I went.  Exam, Steroid shot-in-the-ass, xrays and $500 later, I'm sent home with a massive respiratory infection and a prescription.

Really? FML.

(Today, I have a follow up that's probably going to cost me around $200.)

Not feeling the love.

So I call my dear, sweet, husband to tell him what's going on, and also to tell him how much I love him, and he's my favorite Valentine, etc.  Apologize that I couldn't get him a card...which he's understanding about because I'm so ill.  And Frankly? He doesn't really care.  He's a dude.

So on his way home he calls and asks if he can bring me anything home.
When I'm sick, I want Cheezits and Gatorade.  I just do.
So he assures me that he will pick it up and be on his way....



Here's where I should know better. 
He'll come home and hand me Cheezits and Gatorade.
He'll give me a kiss and say how sorry he is that I feel like crap.

But he will not surprise me a card, or flowers, or a Valentine's cookie. No matter how much I hope he will.

Sigh.

He would if I asked him too, but where's the romaticalness in that?

That's RIGHT. There is NONE.


SIGH.

But I know he loves me.  With all his heart.  And?  I did get my Cheezits.

Some girls get candlelight, some get snack crackers.
Love takes all kinds, I guess.



I love you Querido.




I hope you all felt the love this Valentine's Day...in your own "special" way.

XOXOX!

CJ