O hasn't been the best talker, but I wasn't overly worried (most of the time)...
He was definitely a babbly baby.
Said Mama and Dada pretty early.
Yay!
Then, it was if he got it out of his system and was done with it.
Crap.
Buuuut, since he's always babbled, always been curious, very aware, definitely understood us (not that he listens), and his Daddy talked super late, we did our best not to panic.
We just kept on talking to him constantly and waited.
And Waited....
Eventually, he says book (he LOOOOVES books), while reading him a story...
Maybe it's a fluke...
We ask for a book.
He goes and gets one. Says book!
SCORE!
Than no more--nada.
Back to waiting.....
More of US talking. This kid's life has been narrated since the womb.
He loves the ABC song, so we started saying the alphabet all the time, got a bunch of alphabet books...
His fave is Star Wars ABC...
He was (and still is) making all KINDS Of letter sounds, and starting to recognize them...
But still not a lot of talking.
Shit.
Have I talked about my lack of patience?
Or my Husband's overwhelming paranoia?
Yeeeaaah.
That's been fun.
We just kept on talking, talking, talking, talking!
Singing too. He's kinda obsessed with music.
He's now a little over 19 months.
He says:
NO-his favorite
Up-When he wants you to pick him up...
Cow-pretty much any animal is a cow. Moo!
Hat-He puts anything on his head and calls it a hat.
Bye bye-he started saying bye bye, but now it's turned into "gye gye?"
Cheese-This kid loves him some cheese!
Hi-I love the way he says hi!
ChooChoo-Train...Thank you Thomas.
Car-He's a little Boston about it, "Caah!"
Fruck-Truck. This one's gonna get us in trouble I can see it now. It's so adorable.
Huh-Hug. He hasn't got the G down yet...
and
Gigi-My MIL.
Notice anything missing from the list?
Oh, right:
Mama and Dada.
WTF, Kid?
I mean, fine, screw Dada (kidding honey! Ahem...), but I was GUTTED for you!
Where's my "hi, Mama?!!!
Sigh.
And he won't say all of them consistently.
He knows what they are, but it's like he just has chattier days than others...
He still babbles up a storm and he recognizes a bunch of the alphabet, yet he's not all that wordy.
Seems to talk only when he damn well pleases... Hmmmmph!
Has anyone else had that experience?
Should I be concerned?
His pediatrician doesn't seem to be...
But let's ask the really important question here:
Why won't he say Mama, damn it?
Fruckin' annoying, if you ask me.
Mama is kidding, O. She loves you always. But would it KILL you to say Mama? I'm just sayin'.
Showing posts with label Paranoia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paranoia. Show all posts
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Monday, August 30, 2010
Yeah, I know. Lots to still be grateful for. Blah, Blah, BLAH.
So this month has been awesome.
In that "what ELSE can go wrong?" kinda way...
It started off on what could be mistaken for a positive trend, because after posting about the crash and burn of relocation, it seemed like we might actually see the sunshiney face of opportunity after all.
Ummm, yeah, we were wrong.
First there were the interviews for Hubs.
3 of them.
They required flying across the states and taking 2 days of of work (unpaid of course).
We'd just spent $800 dollars on much-needed glasses for ourselves (damn our poorly sighted eyeballs), so we couldn't really afford to go, but at the same time we couldn't really afford NOT to go.
Such is the game of Opportunity...
All seemed to be going well, until they moved the interview for the main job that he really wanted, so it became 3 days instead of 2.
But we persevered. Our savings, not so much....
First interview went swimmingly, but they told him upfront that he probably wouldn't be hired for that position because they felt he was a much better fit for the second position...
Peachy! That's the one he really wanted anyhow.
The second interview also went really well (although Husband initially thought he bombed it), and we were getting excited.
Picking-out-paint-colors-discussing-future-renos-on-a-house excited...
(Meanwhile, the third interview never happened, but it was meant to be more of a part-time gig, so we didn't feel too badly.)
A state job WITH Benes?? It was nothing but blues skiiiiiies for us, baby!
(Ohhh, how naive we were then...)
He flies home.
We hear nothing for 3 days. While we'd heard from a little birdie on the inside that they loved him, and were ready to hire him, we were panicking a little.
And with good reason. Despite the glowing reports and rumors of him being hired right away, they didn't hire him.
An eleventh hour interview by a former state employee with 6 years experience in that exact position had to darken our happy little doorstep.
They said all the things that employers say when you're not hired, and our little insider birdie assured us that it was all legit, and they really would keep him in mind for future openings, but told us frankly:
This is state work. Once someone gets in, they don't leave unless forced. We don't have a lot of turnover, so I can't say when/if we'll be hiring again.
Faaaaanfuckingtastic.
I don't want to begrudge anyone a job, especially in this economy, but coooooome ON.
I can't help but be a little bitter.
I can't even begin to explain how much we needed this. For a multitude of reasons.
On top of all of that, we also got denied for health insurance.
AGAIN.
Which is awesome, as I've been really sick, and been told repeatedly that I need to go see a specialist. But adding yet another pre-existing condition to the list of things they can deny me for? Yeah, that sounds terrific.
Don't even get me stared on paying out-of-pocket to just SEE the specialist...
The high-risk pools?
Holy Black Market Pricing, Batman!
You can't even get on the waiting list 'til October.
ANNND, they don't cover preventative care, just major medical. Like a gnarly car accident. Resulting in death.
If that didn't put a spring in our step, then getting our stroller jacked from Cheesecake Factory, did it for SURE.
Now, in all fairness, it was my fault. Sorta.
I'll explain:
O, MIL, her friend, and I all went to the mall. She had errands, I like air conditioning.
After work, Hubs met us for dinner.
Halfway through, O decides he's done for the day.
My spouse, being the gem that he is, offers to take him home and let me eat my dinner in peace.
Now, the CF won't let you bring your stroller into the dining area, so you have to park it in the lobby.
I LOATHE doing that, because I'm always paranoid that someone will jack my shit.
[What? I grew up in some shady neighborhoods...]
But, I soothed myself with the fact that this was South OC. Who'd want my piddly little Graco when Peg Peregos and McClarens abound?
[There's that pesky naivete, again...]
Anyhoo.
Hubs is going to take the baby, but he can't take the stroller because he's already got our little snap 'n go in his trunk, so our big stroller won't fit.
(Damn "compact" Jetta.)
He asks his mom to grab it as we leave and put in her trunk.
(Her Benz has a massive trunk. It's swank.)
Smart? Why, yes! Thanks for noticing!
He also leaves the behemoth piece of luggage I call the "baby bag" with me, because I need to clean up the swath of cheerios, discarded spoons and abandoned binkies that O has left in his wake.
A perfect plan!
That is, until yesterday.
Spouseface and I decide to go strolling around Disneyland with the monkey, but we wanted to swap with my MIL for the big stroller, because it's safer for crowded areas, and lots of walking.
We're already out running errands at Babies R Us, and the ILs are at Costco, so they decide to meet us there for the swap.
I leave to pee....
I come out, and Husband looks like he's gonna vomit.
"The stoller is gone," he says. "It got left."
As soon as the last word starts to come out of his mouth, the previous plan comes flooding back.
So after quite inappropriately yelling FUCK in a baby store, the restaurant is called.
They don't have it.
Still trying to hope, Mall Security is called (this particular CF location is in a large mall).
They don't have it.
Lost and Found?
NOPE.
After double and triple checking in person, our stroller is gone.
I feel like I'm going to cry and throw up. At.the.same.time.
How could I have walked away WITHOUT my child's stroller?! MOM FAIL.
Not to excuse my idiocy, but I'm fairly certain it's because I didn't have O. I never have one without the other.
Yes, I had his bag, but I think my thoughts focused on the fact that Hubben had the actual baby, which meant stroller/carseat combo to my addled brain.
So you may be saying to yourself:
That means you LOST the stroller, not had it STOLEN.
But wait!
Cheesecake said they didn't have the stroller when they closed that night. They closed at 10pm, we left at 8pm. Suspicious...
Also?
I remember thinking to myself (as Hubs was leaving):
It'll be impossible to forget the stroller because we'll have to walk RIGHT BY it to exit the premises. I didn't see a stroller in sight.
[I'm starting to smell a rat...]
If it were just forgotten then it should've still been waiting for me to claim it at CF, or at least in the Mall's Lost and Found.
But you and I both know that someone walked away with it.
It would be super easy to do.
It's not like I thought to install stroller lowjack...Next time, Next TIME.
Yes, I'm the moron (the exhausted, frazzled, Mommy moron) who forgot my stroller. Does that mean that I deserve to have it stolen?
I say NAY, it doth not.
Who the HELL shiests someone's stroller, anyhow?
I'm sorry, but the "Finders-Keepers" brand of property acquisition does not apply here.
I've said it before, and I will say it again-
To Whomever stole my stroller: You are a WHORE.
That sums up the month's top highlights!
Is everyone else as excited for the shenanigans of September as I am?
You'll be missed, little Graco.
In that "what ELSE can go wrong?" kinda way...
It started off on what could be mistaken for a positive trend, because after posting about the crash and burn of relocation, it seemed like we might actually see the sunshiney face of opportunity after all.
Ummm, yeah, we were wrong.
First there were the interviews for Hubs.
3 of them.
They required flying across the states and taking 2 days of of work (unpaid of course).
We'd just spent $800 dollars on much-needed glasses for ourselves (damn our poorly sighted eyeballs), so we couldn't really afford to go, but at the same time we couldn't really afford NOT to go.
Such is the game of Opportunity...
All seemed to be going well, until they moved the interview for the main job that he really wanted, so it became 3 days instead of 2.
But we persevered. Our savings, not so much....
First interview went swimmingly, but they told him upfront that he probably wouldn't be hired for that position because they felt he was a much better fit for the second position...
Peachy! That's the one he really wanted anyhow.
The second interview also went really well (although Husband initially thought he bombed it), and we were getting excited.
Picking-out-paint-colors-discussing-future-renos-on-a-house excited...
(Meanwhile, the third interview never happened, but it was meant to be more of a part-time gig, so we didn't feel too badly.)
A state job WITH Benes?? It was nothing but blues skiiiiiies for us, baby!
(Ohhh, how naive we were then...)
He flies home.
We hear nothing for 3 days. While we'd heard from a little birdie on the inside that they loved him, and were ready to hire him, we were panicking a little.
And with good reason. Despite the glowing reports and rumors of him being hired right away, they didn't hire him.
An eleventh hour interview by a former state employee with 6 years experience in that exact position had to darken our happy little doorstep.
They said all the things that employers say when you're not hired, and our little insider birdie assured us that it was all legit, and they really would keep him in mind for future openings, but told us frankly:
This is state work. Once someone gets in, they don't leave unless forced. We don't have a lot of turnover, so I can't say when/if we'll be hiring again.
Faaaaanfuckingtastic.
I don't want to begrudge anyone a job, especially in this economy, but coooooome ON.
I can't help but be a little bitter.
I can't even begin to explain how much we needed this. For a multitude of reasons.
On top of all of that, we also got denied for health insurance.
AGAIN.
Which is awesome, as I've been really sick, and been told repeatedly that I need to go see a specialist. But adding yet another pre-existing condition to the list of things they can deny me for? Yeah, that sounds terrific.
Don't even get me stared on paying out-of-pocket to just SEE the specialist...
The high-risk pools?
Holy Black Market Pricing, Batman!
You can't even get on the waiting list 'til October.
ANNND, they don't cover preventative care, just major medical. Like a gnarly car accident. Resulting in death.
If that didn't put a spring in our step, then getting our stroller jacked from Cheesecake Factory, did it for SURE.
Now, in all fairness, it was my fault. Sorta.
I'll explain:
O, MIL, her friend, and I all went to the mall. She had errands, I like air conditioning.
After work, Hubs met us for dinner.
Halfway through, O decides he's done for the day.
My spouse, being the gem that he is, offers to take him home and let me eat my dinner in peace.
Now, the CF won't let you bring your stroller into the dining area, so you have to park it in the lobby.
I LOATHE doing that, because I'm always paranoid that someone will jack my shit.
[What? I grew up in some shady neighborhoods...]
But, I soothed myself with the fact that this was South OC. Who'd want my piddly little Graco when Peg Peregos and McClarens abound?
[There's that pesky naivete, again...]
Anyhoo.
Hubs is going to take the baby, but he can't take the stroller because he's already got our little snap 'n go in his trunk, so our big stroller won't fit.
(Damn "compact" Jetta.)
He asks his mom to grab it as we leave and put in her trunk.
(Her Benz has a massive trunk. It's swank.)
Smart? Why, yes! Thanks for noticing!
He also leaves the behemoth piece of luggage I call the "baby bag" with me, because I need to clean up the swath of cheerios, discarded spoons and abandoned binkies that O has left in his wake.
A perfect plan!
That is, until yesterday.
Spouseface and I decide to go strolling around Disneyland with the monkey, but we wanted to swap with my MIL for the big stroller, because it's safer for crowded areas, and lots of walking.
We're already out running errands at Babies R Us, and the ILs are at Costco, so they decide to meet us there for the swap.
I leave to pee....
I come out, and Husband looks like he's gonna vomit.
"The stoller is gone," he says. "It got left."
As soon as the last word starts to come out of his mouth, the previous plan comes flooding back.
So after quite inappropriately yelling FUCK in a baby store, the restaurant is called.
They don't have it.
Still trying to hope, Mall Security is called (this particular CF location is in a large mall).
They don't have it.
Lost and Found?
NOPE.
After double and triple checking in person, our stroller is gone.
I feel like I'm going to cry and throw up. At.the.same.time.
How could I have walked away WITHOUT my child's stroller?! MOM FAIL.
Not to excuse my idiocy, but I'm fairly certain it's because I didn't have O. I never have one without the other.
Yes, I had his bag, but I think my thoughts focused on the fact that Hubben had the actual baby, which meant stroller/carseat combo to my addled brain.
So you may be saying to yourself:
That means you LOST the stroller, not had it STOLEN.
But wait!
Cheesecake said they didn't have the stroller when they closed that night. They closed at 10pm, we left at 8pm. Suspicious...
Also?
I remember thinking to myself (as Hubs was leaving):
It'll be impossible to forget the stroller because we'll have to walk RIGHT BY it to exit the premises. I didn't see a stroller in sight.
[I'm starting to smell a rat...]
If it were just forgotten then it should've still been waiting for me to claim it at CF, or at least in the Mall's Lost and Found.
But you and I both know that someone walked away with it.
It would be super easy to do.
It's not like I thought to install stroller lowjack...Next time, Next TIME.
Yes, I'm the moron (the exhausted, frazzled, Mommy moron) who forgot my stroller. Does that mean that I deserve to have it stolen?
I say NAY, it doth not.
Who the HELL shiests someone's stroller, anyhow?
I'm sorry, but the "Finders-Keepers" brand of property acquisition does not apply here.
I've said it before, and I will say it again-
To Whomever stole my stroller: You are a WHORE.
That sums up the month's top highlights!
Is everyone else as excited for the shenanigans of September as I am?
You'll be missed, little Graco.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Did I say "Tired and Fat?" No, I TOTALLY meant "Blissful and Womanly." Really!
No I didn't. I'm a liar.
What I meant to say was: EXHAUSTED and GINORMOUS.
And, And, ANDDDD....
I'd really like to have control of my bladder back.
But that's not what people want to hear when they ask how you are doing in your pregnancy.
Because if I told them that my feet are painfully swollen, that I have menopausal-level hot flashes, that my back and hips are in so much pain it feels like they're trying to secede from the union that is my skeletal system, and peeing my pants is becoming a daily occurrence--that thing will happen where their eyes sorta glaze over and that polite smile crosses their face....
Uh Oh. I've lost them and have now entered that awkward territory.
You know the one, that place where the person you just said that to tries to then reassure you that you will love being a mother and love your baby?
For Pete's sake!
Of course I will love being a mother! Of COURSE of will love my baby! I already do!
I'm ECSTATIC to be pregnant, I'm just having a rough time with some of the "side effects," if you will.
So I smile and jokingly say "tired and fat"...hee hee!
I thought this was safe. Humourous, light, not a lie, but not the full story--you know, keepin' it casual....
Until I said it to one of my MILs friends while were were having lunch.
This was her response:
"Oh, honey, you don't know the half of it. This is the easy part!" "Just enjoy it, because your next pregnancy will never be as easy as your first, especially with another little one running around, so appreciate this magical time, because you NEVER get to have a first pregnancy again."
Well, shit.
Now, I feel like an asshole for not appreciating my pregnancy enough, AND you've completely terrified me about having a second child.
Awesome.
Pass the butter. I'll stuff down my fears with carbs for the time-being.
Soooo nice to see you, btw. So nice.
Thanks.
What I meant to say was: EXHAUSTED and GINORMOUS.
And, And, ANDDDD....
I'd really like to have control of my bladder back.
But that's not what people want to hear when they ask how you are doing in your pregnancy.
Because if I told them that my feet are painfully swollen, that I have menopausal-level hot flashes, that my back and hips are in so much pain it feels like they're trying to secede from the union that is my skeletal system, and peeing my pants is becoming a daily occurrence--that thing will happen where their eyes sorta glaze over and that polite smile crosses their face....
Uh Oh. I've lost them and have now entered that awkward territory.
You know the one, that place where the person you just said that to tries to then reassure you that you will love being a mother and love your baby?
For Pete's sake!
Of course I will love being a mother! Of COURSE of will love my baby! I already do!
I'm ECSTATIC to be pregnant, I'm just having a rough time with some of the "side effects," if you will.
So I smile and jokingly say "tired and fat"...hee hee!
I thought this was safe. Humourous, light, not a lie, but not the full story--you know, keepin' it casual....
Until I said it to one of my MILs friends while were were having lunch.
This was her response:
"Oh, honey, you don't know the half of it. This is the easy part!" "Just enjoy it, because your next pregnancy will never be as easy as your first, especially with another little one running around, so appreciate this magical time, because you NEVER get to have a first pregnancy again."
Well, shit.
Now, I feel like an asshole for not appreciating my pregnancy enough, AND you've completely terrified me about having a second child.
Awesome.
Pass the butter. I'll stuff down my fears with carbs for the time-being.
Soooo nice to see you, btw. So nice.
Thanks.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sweet potato pancakes, grits, and gorgeous veils, OH my!
Today has been a weird day. First poor Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer, and then MJ has a heart attack....While it is a sad day for the pop culture community and world at large, at risk of sounding disrespectful, I'm glad they're gone, b/c at least they're (hopefully) at peace. Ms. Fawcett was undoubtedly in immeasurable amounts of pain--in hell, and Mr. Jackson was well, immeasurably fucked up, so in his own brand of hell all the same.
But that's all I'm going to say about that....
On to happier things:
Our trip to Atlanta went REALLY well. It was so much fun, but OH MY SWELTERING. So hot!
Husband went off to "rough it" with the boys in the woods of North Carolina (if a swank cabin with flat screens, beds, and a jacuzzi coupled with frat-level drinking games are part of a general wilderness motif), and I stayed in Hotlanta with my new SIL and her friends. They were a fantastic group of women, and so sweet.
The weekend was filled with fantastic food (my life is forever-changed after the introduction of Moose Tracks), bridal celebrations, drunken texts (from the boys), silly pictures, and scandalous lingerie (all in the name of Jesus...lol).
All in all, the makings of a memorable weekend.
I loved getting to spend time with my SIL-to-be, as we really didn't know each other AT ALL before this trip. After, however, we've discovered a menagerie of commonalities and have made a pact. Haha.
The best part of the trip was being able to go with her to try on her dress and be a part of the veil-choosing. Dealing with the aging Southern Debutante, not so much.
To the woman's credit though, she did show us one of the coolest tricks to do with your veil that I have ever seen.
As far as little Owen, we are in 20th week, and feeling pretty good. All I want to do is eat, which kind of freaks me out, because I want to be really careful about my weight gain, and unfortunately, I'm not craving veggies and cottage cheese, if you know what I mean....
We have our scheduled U/S through the perinatal office on the 29th. This was supposed to be our anatomy screen, but as you all know, I jumped the gun, and went to a third-party place on my own.
I'm nervous that this U/S will tell us that it's a girl. Not that we'll be any LESS thrilled, it will just be kind of weird....like: JUST KIDDING. Sorry, Owen. You'll now be known as Olivia. Awkward!
In reality, all I care about is that he's healthy, which is why I love U/S's because you can get a more accurate reading of the heartbeat, position, movement, measurements, etc. If I had it my way, I'd have one every month! Haha.
In other baby news, I've started the prep for baby shower time!
I think I'll put all of that in a separate post though, as I'm starting to lose focus! Oy! Mommy brain!
But that's all I'm going to say about that....
On to happier things:
Our trip to Atlanta went REALLY well. It was so much fun, but OH MY SWELTERING. So hot!
Husband went off to "rough it" with the boys in the woods of North Carolina (if a swank cabin with flat screens, beds, and a jacuzzi coupled with frat-level drinking games are part of a general wilderness motif), and I stayed in Hotlanta with my new SIL and her friends. They were a fantastic group of women, and so sweet.
The weekend was filled with fantastic food (my life is forever-changed after the introduction of Moose Tracks), bridal celebrations, drunken texts (from the boys), silly pictures, and scandalous lingerie (all in the name of Jesus...lol).
All in all, the makings of a memorable weekend.
I loved getting to spend time with my SIL-to-be, as we really didn't know each other AT ALL before this trip. After, however, we've discovered a menagerie of commonalities and have made a pact. Haha.
The best part of the trip was being able to go with her to try on her dress and be a part of the veil-choosing. Dealing with the aging Southern Debutante, not so much.
To the woman's credit though, she did show us one of the coolest tricks to do with your veil that I have ever seen.
As far as little Owen, we are in 20th week, and feeling pretty good. All I want to do is eat, which kind of freaks me out, because I want to be really careful about my weight gain, and unfortunately, I'm not craving veggies and cottage cheese, if you know what I mean....
We have our scheduled U/S through the perinatal office on the 29th. This was supposed to be our anatomy screen, but as you all know, I jumped the gun, and went to a third-party place on my own.
I'm nervous that this U/S will tell us that it's a girl. Not that we'll be any LESS thrilled, it will just be kind of weird....like: JUST KIDDING. Sorry, Owen. You'll now be known as Olivia. Awkward!
In reality, all I care about is that he's healthy, which is why I love U/S's because you can get a more accurate reading of the heartbeat, position, movement, measurements, etc. If I had it my way, I'd have one every month! Haha.
In other baby news, I've started the prep for baby shower time!
I think I'll put all of that in a separate post though, as I'm starting to lose focus! Oy! Mommy brain!
Monday, June 8, 2009
The Rundown...because a detailed, fluid post would require several hours of your reading time.
The Pregnancy so far: At 17 weeks
As you all know, I have had gnarly morning sickness and that has FINALLY gone away.
(unfortunately, the crushing sense of tired has not)
Now, I find myself insanely hungry every 2-3 hours. I'm guessing that 15 lbs I lost are going to come back with a vengeance. YIKES. I'm still finding it hard to eat that often though, because it just seems like so much!
In addition to VomitORama 09, I've also had 4 back-to-back bladder infections that started to become a kidney infection, and landed me in the ER for 2 days, but with a treatment of injection antibiotics the infection is gone....supposedly.
I'm still having pain and discomfort, but it can't exactly be classified as "cramping" and there's no bleeding, so the suggestion (via the ER docs) is that I go see a urologist, but I'm going to have to jump through hoops of fire to get that done, due to my crap (but much appreciated) insurance.
If that weren't special enough-
I've started getting stretch marks on my belly. This makes me very, VERY sad. Since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have been diligent in exfoliating and oiling up my boobs and belly in an attempt to avoid looking like a road map when this is all over, but Rand McNally, here I come! My husband promises to still love me. Hopefully.
My back and joints have been KILLING me, at times making it difficult to walk. This had me really worried until I realized that hey, I have Cerebral Palsy, and this is probably normal! After researching the topic, that idea was confirmed.
Nothing to be alarmed about, just careful of. This means I that I will probably have to purchase a cane sooner than I ever wanted to, and is kinda a blow to my ego, but I know I have to suck it up. I'm working on it.
Along those lines, I had my first falls while pregnant this weekend. I'm not hurt, and I didn't fall on my belly, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't scare the shit out of me. But again, after talking to people and doing some research, it is apparently common to occasionally fall on your ass during this whole process.
I also fainted at Disneyland. I'm fine, but I thought my poor hubby's heart was going to pop. They think it was due to dehydration.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and yes, I plan on discussing all of the above things with him. I'd also really like for him to do an ultrasound just for safe measure, but I'm not sure he'll go for it. I am however, demanding an internal exam.
Everyone keeps asking about the gender: we don't know yet, and it's killing us. The ER did one when I was in there (for the bladder brouhaha) on the 28th of May, to make sure that the baby was okay, and the doctor doing it told us that we should be able to tell now, but our puritanical progeny would not move it's knees and show us the goods. I was sooo disappointed. As for our scheduled gender u/s, the doctor wants to wait until the end of the month. This bums me out EVEN FURTHER, because I really wanted to know in time for Father's Day. Dammit!
As for my last post, we'll still FREAKING out about our current financial situation, but after mulling it over 8 ways to Sunday, we realized that we're doing all that we can possibly do right now, and eating ourselves up about it is just causing fruitless misery, so we're just taking it day-by-day, and still fervently hoping for a miracle.
Speaking of money though, we are desperately trying to find a way to get/save up for a new bed. We have decided that we want to co-sleep with the baby after lots of reading and research, and as such, need to upgrade to a King-sized mattress. One that is quality, but doesn't cost us our souls. Based on the prices we've seen so far, this could be one epic quest. Keep your fingers crossed for us, and eyes peeled!
What else?
I'm starting to feel human again, and am moving into total-nesting mode. I keep trying to think of what to clean and organize so that I can feel productive and prepared, but according to several of my friends, I really just need to sit my ass down....Hmmmm. I know that THAT is EXACTLY what I would tell (and have told) any pregnant friend of mine, but I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept.
Well, that about wraps it up! I think. But as pregnancy has liquefied my brain and is slowly stealing my intellect, I've probably forgotten a million things I wanted to say.
I'll probably post tomorrow after I get back from the doctor. I hope it goes well. I ALWAYS panic a little before every appointment....
As you all know, I have had gnarly morning sickness and that has FINALLY gone away.
(unfortunately, the crushing sense of tired has not)
Now, I find myself insanely hungry every 2-3 hours. I'm guessing that 15 lbs I lost are going to come back with a vengeance. YIKES. I'm still finding it hard to eat that often though, because it just seems like so much!
In addition to VomitORama 09, I've also had 4 back-to-back bladder infections that started to become a kidney infection, and landed me in the ER for 2 days, but with a treatment of injection antibiotics the infection is gone....supposedly.
I'm still having pain and discomfort, but it can't exactly be classified as "cramping" and there's no bleeding, so the suggestion (via the ER docs) is that I go see a urologist, but I'm going to have to jump through hoops of fire to get that done, due to my crap (but much appreciated) insurance.
If that weren't special enough-
I've started getting stretch marks on my belly. This makes me very, VERY sad. Since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have been diligent in exfoliating and oiling up my boobs and belly in an attempt to avoid looking like a road map when this is all over, but Rand McNally, here I come! My husband promises to still love me. Hopefully.
My back and joints have been KILLING me, at times making it difficult to walk. This had me really worried until I realized that hey, I have Cerebral Palsy, and this is probably normal! After researching the topic, that idea was confirmed.
Nothing to be alarmed about, just careful of. This means I that I will probably have to purchase a cane sooner than I ever wanted to, and is kinda a blow to my ego, but I know I have to suck it up. I'm working on it.
Along those lines, I had my first falls while pregnant this weekend. I'm not hurt, and I didn't fall on my belly, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't scare the shit out of me. But again, after talking to people and doing some research, it is apparently common to occasionally fall on your ass during this whole process.
I also fainted at Disneyland. I'm fine, but I thought my poor hubby's heart was going to pop. They think it was due to dehydration.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and yes, I plan on discussing all of the above things with him. I'd also really like for him to do an ultrasound just for safe measure, but I'm not sure he'll go for it. I am however, demanding an internal exam.
Everyone keeps asking about the gender: we don't know yet, and it's killing us. The ER did one when I was in there (for the bladder brouhaha) on the 28th of May, to make sure that the baby was okay, and the doctor doing it told us that we should be able to tell now, but our puritanical progeny would not move it's knees and show us the goods. I was sooo disappointed. As for our scheduled gender u/s, the doctor wants to wait until the end of the month. This bums me out EVEN FURTHER, because I really wanted to know in time for Father's Day. Dammit!
As for my last post, we'll still FREAKING out about our current financial situation, but after mulling it over 8 ways to Sunday, we realized that we're doing all that we can possibly do right now, and eating ourselves up about it is just causing fruitless misery, so we're just taking it day-by-day, and still fervently hoping for a miracle.
Speaking of money though, we are desperately trying to find a way to get/save up for a new bed. We have decided that we want to co-sleep with the baby after lots of reading and research, and as such, need to upgrade to a King-sized mattress. One that is quality, but doesn't cost us our souls. Based on the prices we've seen so far, this could be one epic quest. Keep your fingers crossed for us, and eyes peeled!
What else?
I'm starting to feel human again, and am moving into total-nesting mode. I keep trying to think of what to clean and organize so that I can feel productive and prepared, but according to several of my friends, I really just need to sit my ass down....Hmmmm. I know that THAT is EXACTLY what I would tell (and have told) any pregnant friend of mine, but I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept.
Well, that about wraps it up! I think. But as pregnancy has liquefied my brain and is slowly stealing my intellect, I've probably forgotten a million things I wanted to say.
I'll probably post tomorrow after I get back from the doctor. I hope it goes well. I ALWAYS panic a little before every appointment....
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Baby needs a new pair of shoes!
I'm in the midst of a FREAK OUT. Not just right this second, but for probably about the last week...
We are broke. I mean, brokety-ass-brokety BROKE.
Thankfully, we make all of our bills, but that's it.
There's no savings, and there's no emergency fund.
We don't even make enough to pay real rent, so it's a good thing we're living with my in-laws.
We're having a baby. HOLY MOTHER OF G-D.
I don't know what to do. Ironically, we can't bring in any more income, or we'll lose the Medi-Cal that we have for the baby.
Even if I could work, my doctor has said that I shouldn't, and my poor husband was trying to find a 2nd job BEFORE I got pregnant, and couldn't find anything to save his life.
Now, even if he could FIND something, he wouldn't be able to take it, because we can't afford to lose the medi-cal, but we also can't afford to not to bring in more dinero....
Ummm, yeah. Stuck between a rock and a poor place.
In an effort to try and do what we can, we consolidated all of our credit cards (all of which save for one, was in my name because of my husband's lack of credit history) and started what the company calls a: Debt Management Plan-DMP, which will reduce our monthly out-go of credit card payments by quite a bit.
We were hoping to put that money we "saved" toward an emergency fund and toward saving for the baby, BUT now we're terrified that my husband's car is close to death.
If the "CHECK ENGINE" light comes on one more time, I'm going to lose it.
We're hoping the car will at least eek out for another year....oh, please, little car, hear my cry!
But even with saving that bit of money every month, it still doesn't allow us to become financially stable enough to move out.
Especially with the credit consolidation now.
My credit history which I spent 10 years building, is now dust, and will be for the next five years.
I'm jobless, credit cardless, credit historyless, and pregnant.
Excuse me while I collapse into panic attack/coronary.
I went from bringing in a full-time income, having a great credit score and an established credit history to THIS, in a ONE YEAR.
I have never been this dependent on another human being (that being my husband) in my life. It's terrifying. I don't like it.
That is not to say that I blame my husband for any of it (and I'm so thankful that he doesn't blame me EITHER), or that I would change anything really, it just blows my mind how quickly things can shift.
We just don't know what to do.
We desperately want to find a way to move out of my in-laws house.
Not because it's a horrible place to live, but because we just want to not feel like failures, but at the same time, we know it would be idiotic to try and leave before we're truly stable, not just for our sakes, but for the sake of our child as well.
Until we can find a way to make a substantial second income, or be granted a miracle, we'll be camping here for a while.
Most of the people in our lives have been really supportive of our having to move in to my husband's parents, but then there are those that treat it like we ended up here because we were irresponsible assholes, who didn't try hard enough, which is really unnerving.
Worse than that though, are the people who assume that because we're living with the 'rents, who happen to be "comfortable" shall we say, that all of our troubles are over, our bills are being paid, our debts are settled, and now we're just lazy.
Yes, we live with my husband's parents, and yes, it is a pretty swank place to live, and yes, they have helped us, BUT they are NOT just handing out money to us like confetti...
Ummmm, I WISH.
Who wouldn't want someone to come in, fairy godmother-style and say: Don't worry! I've got this!?
But alas, that is not so.
They have their own financial ecosystem to maintain, thank you.
We pay are own bills, and on one income (particularly in So. CA), it's pretty tight.
We are not whiny and spoiled, I promise.
Some people just like to run their mouths...ahem.
If that wasn't enough, my husband's parents really want him to go back to school.
Which, in theory, is great.
I want my husband to be able to do that too, but given the current state of things, the idea of adding another mountain of student loans to the range of financial clusters we ALREADY have paralyzes us both with terror.
But that is another post for another night.
I don't have the strength for it now.....
We are broke. I mean, brokety-ass-brokety BROKE.
Thankfully, we make all of our bills, but that's it.
There's no savings, and there's no emergency fund.
We don't even make enough to pay real rent, so it's a good thing we're living with my in-laws.
We're having a baby. HOLY MOTHER OF G-D.
I don't know what to do. Ironically, we can't bring in any more income, or we'll lose the Medi-Cal that we have for the baby.
Even if I could work, my doctor has said that I shouldn't, and my poor husband was trying to find a 2nd job BEFORE I got pregnant, and couldn't find anything to save his life.
Now, even if he could FIND something, he wouldn't be able to take it, because we can't afford to lose the medi-cal, but we also can't afford to not to bring in more dinero....
Ummm, yeah. Stuck between a rock and a poor place.
In an effort to try and do what we can, we consolidated all of our credit cards (all of which save for one, was in my name because of my husband's lack of credit history) and started what the company calls a: Debt Management Plan-DMP, which will reduce our monthly out-go of credit card payments by quite a bit.
We were hoping to put that money we "saved" toward an emergency fund and toward saving for the baby, BUT now we're terrified that my husband's car is close to death.
If the "CHECK ENGINE" light comes on one more time, I'm going to lose it.
We're hoping the car will at least eek out for another year....oh, please, little car, hear my cry!
But even with saving that bit of money every month, it still doesn't allow us to become financially stable enough to move out.
Especially with the credit consolidation now.
My credit history which I spent 10 years building, is now dust, and will be for the next five years.
I'm jobless, credit cardless, credit historyless, and pregnant.
Excuse me while I collapse into panic attack/coronary.
I went from bringing in a full-time income, having a great credit score and an established credit history to THIS, in a ONE YEAR.
I have never been this dependent on another human being (that being my husband) in my life. It's terrifying. I don't like it.
That is not to say that I blame my husband for any of it (and I'm so thankful that he doesn't blame me EITHER), or that I would change anything really, it just blows my mind how quickly things can shift.
We just don't know what to do.
We desperately want to find a way to move out of my in-laws house.
Not because it's a horrible place to live, but because we just want to not feel like failures, but at the same time, we know it would be idiotic to try and leave before we're truly stable, not just for our sakes, but for the sake of our child as well.
Until we can find a way to make a substantial second income, or be granted a miracle, we'll be camping here for a while.
Most of the people in our lives have been really supportive of our having to move in to my husband's parents, but then there are those that treat it like we ended up here because we were irresponsible assholes, who didn't try hard enough, which is really unnerving.
Worse than that though, are the people who assume that because we're living with the 'rents, who happen to be "comfortable" shall we say, that all of our troubles are over, our bills are being paid, our debts are settled, and now we're just lazy.
Yes, we live with my husband's parents, and yes, it is a pretty swank place to live, and yes, they have helped us, BUT they are NOT just handing out money to us like confetti...
Ummmm, I WISH.
Who wouldn't want someone to come in, fairy godmother-style and say: Don't worry! I've got this!?
But alas, that is not so.
They have their own financial ecosystem to maintain, thank you.
We pay are own bills, and on one income (particularly in So. CA), it's pretty tight.
We are not whiny and spoiled, I promise.
Some people just like to run their mouths...ahem.
If that wasn't enough, my husband's parents really want him to go back to school.
Which, in theory, is great.
I want my husband to be able to do that too, but given the current state of things, the idea of adding another mountain of student loans to the range of financial clusters we ALREADY have paralyzes us both with terror.
But that is another post for another night.
I don't have the strength for it now.....
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Paranoia, Party of 1? Paranoia, Party of 1, your table is ready....
I am a plan for the worst-and-hope-it-won't-be-that-awful kind of a person. Some might say that because of that, I am a pessimist...
Maybe I am, but I prefer to think I'm more of a realistic optimist.
I want and hope that the best will come out of a situation, but know that if you don't plan for the alternative, you might end up on your ass.
Pregnancy has put this tendency of mine into overdrive. In the bad way...
This is me at night, lying in bed:
What if that half a margarita I had the night before I found out I was pregnant gave our baby fetal alcohol syndrome?
What if my inability to keep food down leads to malnutrition and causes our baby to have developmental delays?
What if my mom is right, and we DO have twins? And they're conjoined?
What if...and it just keeps getting more and more ridiculous.
Under normal circumstances, I am a pretty logical, level-headed person.
Now, I am just a crazy person who is developing a fear that our baby will be born with 4 legs or something.
I just, like every other mother on the planet, want my child to have the ability to do/be anything and everything it wants.
I don't want them to miss out on anything.
As a child with a disability, I missed out on a lot of very basic things:
I couldn't run or participate in PE
I couldn't ride a bike or rollerskate
I couldn't take dance or sports, and I was kept inside a lot.
You add braces and a walker to the mix, and it just doesn't bode well for childhood activities....
Then as a teenager, things normalized quite a bit for me physically, after surgery, PT, and Rehab, but there were little things to be missed, like high heels and most shoes, to big things, like driving...
I'm so afraid of my child having to miss out on things like that as well. Granted Cerebral Palsy is not hereditary, so I'm not fearful that my child will get it, but will rates of things like Autism and Down's syndrome climbing, I worry a lot.
That being said, it wouldn't change how we feel about the pregnancy, or how feel about our child. We have already declined to do an amniocentesis, because the results wouldn't change our minds about having the baby, even if there was something scary.
So why obsess in the middle of the night?
I just can't help myself....
I blame it on the hormones. I'm allowed to do that now, right?
Maybe I am, but I prefer to think I'm more of a realistic optimist.
I want and hope that the best will come out of a situation, but know that if you don't plan for the alternative, you might end up on your ass.
Pregnancy has put this tendency of mine into overdrive. In the bad way...
This is me at night, lying in bed:
What if that half a margarita I had the night before I found out I was pregnant gave our baby fetal alcohol syndrome?
What if my inability to keep food down leads to malnutrition and causes our baby to have developmental delays?
What if my mom is right, and we DO have twins? And they're conjoined?
What if...and it just keeps getting more and more ridiculous.
Under normal circumstances, I am a pretty logical, level-headed person.
Now, I am just a crazy person who is developing a fear that our baby will be born with 4 legs or something.
I just, like every other mother on the planet, want my child to have the ability to do/be anything and everything it wants.
I don't want them to miss out on anything.
As a child with a disability, I missed out on a lot of very basic things:
I couldn't run or participate in PE
I couldn't ride a bike or rollerskate
I couldn't take dance or sports, and I was kept inside a lot.
You add braces and a walker to the mix, and it just doesn't bode well for childhood activities....
Then as a teenager, things normalized quite a bit for me physically, after surgery, PT, and Rehab, but there were little things to be missed, like high heels and most shoes, to big things, like driving...
I'm so afraid of my child having to miss out on things like that as well. Granted Cerebral Palsy is not hereditary, so I'm not fearful that my child will get it, but will rates of things like Autism and Down's syndrome climbing, I worry a lot.
That being said, it wouldn't change how we feel about the pregnancy, or how feel about our child. We have already declined to do an amniocentesis, because the results wouldn't change our minds about having the baby, even if there was something scary.
So why obsess in the middle of the night?
I just can't help myself....
I blame it on the hormones. I'm allowed to do that now, right?
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