Wednesday, April 21, 2010

29 Albums about 29 years.

My husband has decided as of last night, that he needs to know more about the music I like.

I'm not really sure what spurred this on after 5 years, but hey, it's a sweet gesture...

(Although, I know him like the back of my hand and I'm pretty sure that part of what's driving this is the desire to finally best me in music trivia.)

See, Hubbs and I don't really like the same time of music. Nor do we treat music the same way.

I think that music is crucial to my daily life, and must be on at (almost) all times.

He sorta treats it like white noise.

If it's there, okay, but he won't make the effort to turn it on.

But I digress....

His little research project got me thinking:

What is the music that has meant the most to me? Hmmm....

You know what this means, right?

It's time for a LIST.

(I kinda heart lists)

The 29 (1 for each year I've been alive) Albums that have been a huge part of me:

(I'm not going to go chronologically or explain them, because O only naps for so long.)

So, in no particular order and off the top of my head-

1. My Aim is True-Elvis Costello
2. Los Angeles-X
3. Astral Weeks-Van Morrison
4. What's the 411?-Mary J. Blige
5. Rage Against the Machine-Rage Against the Machine
6. Amplified Heart- Everything But the Girl
7. Dreamboat Annie-Heart
8. More Adventurous-Rilo Kiley
9. When the Pawn...-Fiona Apple
10. The Bends-Radiohead
11. Horses-Patti Smith
12. Ten-Pearl Jam
13. The Blue Album-Weezer
14. Stranger Than Fiction-Bad Religion
15. Disintegration-The Cure
16. London Calling-The Clash
17. MTV Unplugged in New York-Nirvana
18. At Last!-Etta James
19. The Boatman's Call-Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
20. Purple-Stone Temple Pilots
21. Begin to Hope-Regina Spektor
22. At the Close of a Century-Stevie Wonder
23. Bloodletting-Concrete Blonde
24. Puple Rain-Prince
25. Lust for Life-Iggy Pop
26. What's the Story Morning Glory?-Oasis
27. Acoustic-Bayside
28. Electric Warrior-T. Rex
29. Fever to Tell-Yeah Yeah Yeahs

+ 1 to grow on: Grace-Jeff Buckley

There's so much more, and on a different day, I could probably give a different list, but there you have it!

Monday, April 19, 2010

He's going to be shaving tomorrow morning, I'm convinced.

O is soooooo big already. He sat up on his own last night, and I burst into tears!

I can't handle this growing up business. OBVIOUSLY, I want him to have a long and healthy life, but can't he just be my baby forever?

No....? Crap.

It's outta control.

I can't believe that he's going to be 6 months next week....

In related news, I turned 29 recently. I was not a fan of turning 29.

Wasn't I supposed to accomplish a lot more? Aren't I supposed to be thinner and more successful?

30 is looming, and things are not the way I'd hoped for them to be.

Last year, we were here and oh yeah, here.

And while some things have changed, it's still a very familiar story except now we're throwing in a baby for extra character development.

It's scary and it's frustrating b/c I want my son to have a good life. I want my husband and I to have a good marriage. Which we do, but the last 2 years has been very hard for us. I don't think we've really had a moment yet to breathe-- to really relax and enjoy being a couple, and now, a family.

We're always trying to figure out how to get to the next step-holding our breath, b/c it feels like at any moment, the other shoe could drop.

I know that's a horrible way to live. I know we need to be grateful (we are) for what we do have.

There's just so much pressure to be "successful." To want more.

This got me thinking: What IS that, exactly?

According to the ever-pervasive "they," success is:
a well-paying salaried job, a nice home, a nice car, a Roth IRA and a 401K.

My husband works hard, gets paid by the hour.
We live in his parent's nice home.
He drives a Jetta that has over a 102 thousand miles on it and a constant check engine light blinking.
I think I may have a great-great grandfather named Ira.
I have friends who've run 5-10ks.

You can see why we feel a little second-class these days....

Butt on the flip side, I constantly try to remind myself of the progress we've made since moving in with the ILs, that perhaps won't recieve any kudos from "the them," but has been huge for us.

After both losing our jobs, my hubs has been at his for 3 years.
We were able to climb out of the red and move into black.
We're able to pay our bills in full every month.
We've drastically improved our credit that took a hit after being unemployed.
We're finally paying down our debt (slowly, but) successfully.
We actually have some money in savings. (!!!)
Most importantly, we've continued to grow in our marriage and we've welcomed a healthy, gorgeous son who we keep fed and cared for.

Why isn't that successful? Where's the respect for those triumphs?

We would LOVE to move out on our own. We dream of owning a home, of being debt-free of having a 401K, but for now, but we can only do so much.

I know that my 29th year is probably not going to be what I had envisioned, and the same will probably be said for my 30th year, but every day I will try to keep moving forward and be successful in my perseverance.

Even so, I know there will be days where I curse everything, cry, and rage against the wreckage that I feel my life has become, but who doesn't have those days?

Things WILL turn around.

We will finally make enough money to get our own place.
We will be able to buy a new car.
We will be debt free.
We will get to the next step.

It might just not be as soon as we hoped. And that has to be okay.


We are better off than we were.
We are moving forward.
We are in this together.
We are good parents.
We are a FAMILY.

Being an adult is hard. Being okay with not being a "perfect adult" is even harder.

I'm thankful for all that I have. I think it's okay to want to achieve more.


I have a tendency to criticize my accomplishments that aren't all-encompassing, that don't fit squarely in to society's check list for a happy life.

I have to stop that, for the sake of myself and my family.

It's the little victories that usually add up to mean the most. I need to stop and celebrate them.

I hope your celebrate your own.

Friday, April 9, 2010

I'm experiencing Technical Difficulties

How do you put links into your blogs? I'm not even sure if that's what you call them...


I posted about this last month, and it's coming back to me again.

What I want is for the word "this" to be a link to to an older post, a picture, or a website, etc.

Can someone explain to me how to do that?

(In your explanation, remember that I am mentally deficient when it comes to these sorts of things. Which is sad, yes, but true.)