Wednesday, April 27, 2011


So I've added the comment feature from Intense debate onto my blog...
I think.

I have been thwarted in this process for a couple days now, and was starting to

Sometimes? I am not the most patient.

Do me a favor? Please?

Leave me some love, so I can see if/how it works!

Muchas Gracias, darlings.

(I just want to be able to answer my comments back more effectively, damn it!)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Three's Complicated....

This summer, we will have been living with my Husband's parents for 3 years.

That's shocking to me. Even though it shouldn't be.  

In the least.

When we arrived on their doorstep in August of 2008, we were confident that it was just going to be a 3 month transitional period.

3 months became 6.
6 months became a YEAR. 
I got pregnant.

The plan was to be out after O was born and I was healed.

Because we would so be financially flush after having a child.
We're thinkers, we are!

We would be out by O's 1st birthday.

He's just about 6 months away from turning 2, we can all see how well that went...

At the turn of this year, I found myself angry and desperate.

Overwhelmingly so.

For all of the reasons and more that I have blogged about in the past...

It is not easy living with another couple.
Particularly when that couple happens to be your Parents (in-law).

Not only are there the usual expectations that you would face while learning to coexist with roommates, but the the additional expectations that all children feel the need to meet (and exceed) in order to please their parents.

The most crushing element in this equation is the societal pressure.

Americans are a nation of  islands.
If we find ourselves in a position where we must rely on another (especially in any financial sense), we have failed.

Every nuclear family for themselves!

Even with the changing tides of the economy forcing people to move in with Ma and Pa and for households to become multi-generational, there is still the general sense of embarrassment and the pungent smell of perceived failure hanging around the topic of  "going back home."

My husband and I wrestle with it probably more than anything else in  our marriage.....


Why do we allow ourselves to be labeled as failures?
Why do we berate ourselves for things beyond our control?

Why can't we look at the marriages we've built and the beautiful son we're raising despite the chaos in the world as TRUE signs of success?

We're trying.
I'm trying....

In the last couple of months, as I've stopped to take in certain moments of the day, I realized that while this situation is not ideal, it is actually quite the gift.

It goes deeper that a financial woes and cheap rent.

In our time here, I've gotten to be extremely close with my MIL, and love my FIL as if he were a father, which is big for me.

They gotten to know me better, but more importantly, they've started to get to know their son better.
Not just as their child, but as a man.
As a husband.
As a father.

He is no longer the irresponsible teenager they tended to remember.

He's gotten to know them beyond their title of Mom and Dad.
He's gotten to see them with new perspective, as he is now a fellow parent joining the ranks...

Creating bonds I don't think they had before.

The best by far, though?
Being a team of 4, raising my son as a family.

This little is flooded with love.
He gets to truly grow up with his grandparents.

His grandparents (who in the beginning, were definitely reticent about the idea of us having a child under their roof) have been blessed to be present for every single step of this child's life, from the first movements in my belly to the flying like a diapered-dervish through the house on his own two feet...

And are as utterly in love with their grandson as he is with them.

He likes them better than Mommy and Daddy. Not that Mommy and Daddy are bitter, or anything....ahem.

I don't know how I would've gotten through my pregnancy without the support of my ILs.
I don't know how the Hubs and I would've survived the first couple of months when we brought the baby home...

Frankly, I don't think O would have been born at ALL, had we not been living with them. No exaggeration.

That ALONE makes bunking with the 'rents, totally worth it.

Someday, we will be in our own place.
Someday, we will be separate.

For now, we're at home. 
In all the ways a family can be.

[Peeps? When you get a chance, head over and visit the lovely Jaime over at The Story of Us.
Today's beautiful post helped me really gather my thoughts for this post. AND? Her children are just delicious!]

Monday, April 25, 2011

A, B, Ease!

I have several things I want to blog about. Topics include:

I am a married lady, but I'd like a man to hit on me. Please!
Hear that, men reading my blog? (are there any mens that read my blog?) FLIRT AWAY.
It will not go ANYWHERE, but I'd really appreciate the gesture...but today is probably not the best day to start, okay? I already had a dream this morning that involved me making out with my childhood crush.  Hubs might get a complex.  I would!

Living With My In-laws.
It's not ideal, but sometimes? It's pretty rad.

 Eating Disorders/ Food Issues.
I am often surprised at how much I still struggle with them.  Sigh.

O is Not Really Talking.
Most of the time, I am completely fine with it and totally confident with my child's developmental track, but then "looks" from other parents send me on a panic spiral. My husband is even worse than me.

The Versatile Blogger Award!
Robin, over at Farewell, Stranger gave me and several other lovely ladies this fun award! I need to post about it, but for now, go visit her!

Some decent material...

buuuuuuuut, the iTunes GCs that my MIL gave me for Easter distracted me, and I've spent a large chunk of O's nap time deciding what to spend them on...

[I could bankrupt our family buying iTunes, seriously.]

So I'm stealing from the fantastical Carrie over at The Sweetest. I kinda love her. Go immerse yourself in her blog! But then skip back over this way for some ABC meme-fun, that I jacked from her, that she shanked from Mean Girl Garage, whom I am not familiar with, but based on just name alone--I'm gonna get that way!

This is a bit of a lazylady post, but hey, you might learn a few gems about me, so that's a win, right?

[For past feats of lazy, go here, and here! If you want see some sad attempts at meme-ing, look no further than there and there. It will never happen AGAIN, promise.]

Plain Letters

A. Age: Dirty Thirty. Showers aren't always in the cards.

B. Bed size: King. We used to have a Cal-King, but it had to go when we moved in with the ILs. Some say it's extravagant, I say it's a marriage saver.

C. Chore you dislike: Vacuuming.

D. Dogs: Someday we will have one, I hope. French bulldogs and rat terriers make me smile.

E. Essential start to your day: A good pee, a cup of tea, and a supportive bra.

F. Favorite color: Red. The deeper and sexier, the better.

G. Gold or silver: White Gold. Although, I'm developing this weird obsession with Rose Gold. Very QVC

H. Height: 5’3. I am all sorts of statuesque and lanky. In a petite and roundish sort of way.

I. Instruments you play(ED): I WISH. My brother is the one with all the instrumental talent. I play a mean Rockband tambourine...

J. Job title: WifeyMama and Family CEO/CFO

K. Kids: Fiending for another baby, but trying to play the patience game. Boo.

L. Live: music is the best. TV?  I'd rather DVR.  Residence? SoCal

M. Mom’s name: More Latin than you'd expect, lookin' at her...

N. Nicknames: I think my husband is like the only one that calls me by my given name...There are many. My godson calls me Kiki....

O. Overnight hospital stays: I've lost count.  I fucking abhor hospitals.

P. Pet peeves: Rudeness. Passive aggressive behavior. Racism. Homophobia. Ugg boots worn with short-shorts. Mothers who constantly talk about how much they hate being mothers. Most conservative Republicans. Poor Grammar.

Q. Quote from a movie: "She's not my Special Lady, man! She's just my Lady Friend. Trying to help her conceive!"

R. Righty or Lefty: Left handed.  Left footed. <---kept that from Carrie, because it SO applies here.

S. Siblings: Younger sister and younger brother. I love them like they were my own children, but we have a bit of an estranged relationship, so out of respect, I keep the out of the blog.

T. Time you wake up: 6:00 am.  Trying.

U. Underwear: I prefer comando, but the bladder issues gifted to me by my son has sort of but the kibosh on that....It's Mom-chones, now. Sexy.

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Lima beans, olives, and since the birth of my son--asparagus. Wait, are lima beans considered a veg, or just a legume? Do olives fall into the fruit basket? Whatever.

W. What makes you run late: Miscalculating how long it will take to pack up and get O into the car, and that I can't drive, so I'm always on someone else's clock.

X. X-rays you’ve had: Fairly certain everything on my body has been x-rayed, most likely, several times. It's a wonder O came out with just the one (welllll, two...ahem.) head.

Y. Yummy food you make: My husband is a Kitchen-Nazi, so I don't cook much, but I make a mean pot of spaghetti with meat sauce.

Z. Zoo Animal Favorites: Jirafas! And Elephants. Either, especially in baby form, are guaranteed to make me sqeeeeeee.

Friday, April 22, 2011

A Tisket, a Tasket...He Ain't Gettin' in the Damn Basket.

We got to the mall and he was in a GREAT MOOD.
He looked so handsome in his plaid shortalls that his Gigi bought for him.

We get in line and their eyes meet.....

Big smiles all AROUND!

We are so gonna OWN this picture.
 When it's our turn, he walks right up!
Even waving hello!

But then it's time for him to sit in his lap and smile for the camera....


They're friends and all, but they're not THAT close.

There were no screams or tears, but it was clear that there weren't going to be any snuggles or smiles either.


At least it's a step up from our run-in with Santa....

I think.

Guys! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Look at how little he was last year!!!!!!

I may cry.

....excuse me. 

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I didn't catch the worm necessarily, but...

I caught something.

My stomach has been killing me since Saturday.

This has made for a less-than-productive week so far....

Last week, though?

Was pretty great.

The self-imposed schedule worked out in all its type-A splendor.

I got up early, I showered, I. got. shit. DONE.

Getting up that early kicked my ass, but it was kinda worth it just to feel so accomplished at the end of the day ANNNNND be dressed!

I felt like a whole new world was being opened up to me!

Then Saturday's gut-rot hit, and I started to fall sorely behind.

Crap! Can't lose this momentum already....

Today, I was determined to get back on schedule!! If I publish this post, I will be. Squee! (it's the little things)

However, My husband is determined to thwart my new early-rising lifestyle change....

He doesn't want me to get up at the Dawn of Man.
He wants me to sleep as much as possible.
My health, my CFS, blah, blah, blah....

He's loving, and sweet, and concerned, but he is also annoying.
He turns my alarm off!

I have tried to explain the method to my madness, but he says that I am just being stubborn.
I say that I'm just trying to stay SANE.

He may not care about squalor and mountain ranges of laundry, but I do!

And while he is an amazing husband in many respects, his organizational/housekeeping skills are not among the top ten....or twenty, really....


We need to find a compromise, or our son needs to take daily  4 hour naps.

Not sure either will happen.

I need to go to bed.

That Dawn of Man approaches far more quickly than one might think.
If my alarm stays on, that is.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Penciling it in....Where's my Eraser?


Love 'em.

Order and cleanliness made me happy.
Ticking things off the list made me smile.
I was all content (in an organized fashion, of course) in my Type A sensibilities.
I was a multitasking GODDESS.

Then I had a child.

As long as the boy is fed, clothed, and no one can rightfully call the Environmental Protection Agency on us in regards to our squalor,  I consider the day a success.

I often go with out showers, makeup, or proper clothing.
Piles of laundry have become part of my decor....
Chaos abounds!

What the HELL?

I am a SAHM with just ONE CHILD.

How is it that at 2pm in the afternoon, I'm still in my pajamas?

I am BEYOND tired of all the things I keep "meaning to get to"  never getting done.
(ya know, like hygiene...)

I'm starting to feel bad about my  life-efficacy, guys.

I need to pull it together!

I'm trying to make a schedule....
With a schedule, I will stay more on track.  Be more focused.

I Hope.

Obviously, caring for my son is a daily, ongoing thing, and his schedule comes first, but I needed a general overview...

So I decided to go old-school and break things up in to "Days"to see what that would look like:

Monday is Internet Catch-up Day:
Read/Answer emails
Read/Answer blog comments
Catch up on Twitter/Facebook
Maintain pages
Clean out inboxes

Tuesday is Blogging Day:
Read all my subscriptions
Write a post of my own

{I feel kinda silly devoting 2  days to just blogging/Interwebs, but my blog has been a great outlet for me, twitter has allowed me to connect with some great people/writers, and facebook/emailing keeps me sane on the days I don't talk to anyone but my son all day. I want to start writing more, and getting more involved with groups, make that possible, I've gotta carve out the time...}

Wednesday is Cleaning Day:

Thursday is Laundry Day:
Also, DUH.

Friday is Bills/Paperwork Day
Pay bills
Plan weekly budget
Check all accounts
Check credit monitoring
Sort through and file all mail

Saturday is Family Day:
No chores, just fun...or laziness. Ahem.

Sunday is Errands Day: Aka: There Goes Our $$
Babies R Us
Grocery Store
and anywhere else that didn't get-gotten-to during the week.

So far, the schedule has been been *slightly* successful....

And after a very looooong absence, I'm also trying to work out at least 3 times a week.
The last couple weeks have been good, so perhaps it will become a trend....

I also need to start going to bed earlier and getting UP earlier.
I just can't seem to do it....

EVERY NIGHT, I swear that I will be in bed asleep by 10pm...and EVERY NIGHT I'm crawling into bed at 12-1am....

In the morning?
I find myself sleeping until the last possible second before I drag myself outta bed to start the day and make Huz's lunch.....

If I could just get into the habit of getting up at like 5:00-5:30am?
I could shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, make lunch, and get a jump-start on my day before O was even awake.

But if you know me?

You know that it had to be an EMERGENCY for me to be out of bed that early.

Someday, like if we have another baby or when O starts school, I will probably be required to get up in the middle of the night, but for now, that's just SO FRIKKEN EARLY.

Too early. 
I used to do it when I had to take the bus to work....I swore never.again.ever.
Then, O was born and I was up every two hours for a brief time...
but he settled into such a nice sleeping pattern.
Now, I don't really get up before 7 most days....


But I probably should.

Can a 30-year-old night owl become a morning person?
Can I catch that damn worm?

Obviously, I need your help!

Any tips on starting your day before the Dawn of Man?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Children Need to be Lined Up Two by Two, Apparently.

As soon as you get married, people immediately start asking you about babies.
Someone asked us AT our wedding.
It's a lot of pressure.

When you finally (if you are lucky enough) HAVE your first child, people immediately start asking about siblings.
Also--A LOT of pressure.

I was at book club the other night and the "when-are-you-guys-having another-baby" topic came up again....

I  hate having this conversation.

If you read my blog often, you'll know that I MOST DEFINITELY want another child.

I worry about it a lot actually:

Will we be able to?
What about our money issues?
WHEN will we be able to?
What about our living situation?
What if it takes years?
How far apart will the kids grow up?

I am definitely feeling the burn of baby fever, but I hate having that conversation because of the explaining that goes with it....
Yes, we want to have another baby but we have to wait until X-Y-Z....

Not so bad, except that people are starting to say things like:
Well, you don't want to wait TOO long, and/or it's not good for kids to be too far apart...

That's the LAST thing I need to hear.
  I ALREADY stay awake at night with those thoughts all by my damn neurotic self!

Reinforcement of those fears is unnecessary.

The sad thing is?

I know I've done it! 

Asked couples about babies....
Asked them about sibling-type babies....
Encouraged more babies....

I just LOVE children.
As do most of the women I know.

The creation of a new life, the building of a family?

But it's never as simple as you wish it could be.

I am so incredibly lucky to have my son.
He is a gift of massive proportions.
 So I feel guilty sometimes when I find myself wishing so fervently for another child.

Especially when I know women desperately trying to conceive at ALL, let alone, AGAIN...

On the other hand though, I get angry when I'm made to feel guilty for wanting another child because I don't meet the "right" criteria that somehow would ALLOW me to have another child.


Bottom line?
I want to have another child.
I desperately want O to have a sibling, a playmate.
One that is his age.

I have no idea when/if that will happen, but in the meantime I will enjoy every minute with the one child I have and continue to wish....

For myself and all the other women out there wishing for a little baby dust to be sprinkled their way.

With extra handfuls for those who are still waiting for it to FINALLY be their turn.

Life is never as simple as we hope it would be.....

If you get a chance--
please visit my friend over at Hasta Claridad.
She's written a piece that so beautifully and painfully captures the feelings you struggle with when trying to have a child, and you wonder if you ever will.

I knew that feeling well, as I'm sure some of you do/have too.
Stop by and give her some love. Encourage her journey and applaud her honesty.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The one where Jayne is SPOILED ROTTEN...

My 30th Birthday was last Tuesday.
I was kinda dreading it, not because I think 30 is old, but because I think 30 is ADULT.

I did not expect to reach adulthood totally broke and in debt, living with my in-laws....

Yet, here I am.

All broke, adulty and 30.

My sweet spouse was determined that my birthday would be EPIC.
This made me nervous.
Massive attention directed my way STRESSES me OUT.
I may have mentioned that we are broke....


My birthday was ridiculous. AMAZINGLY so.

Started on the Monday before my birthday....

A little surprise shindig at the local sports bar--
Good Food
A Tiara 

What else does a birthday girl need?

A LOT, apparently.....

Because then?

The gifts kept on ROLLING IN.  
Remember my B-day list?
Go look at it.
TOTAL gift carnage!
Way too much!


Club 33. 
As in the exclusive, Members ONLY, 5-star restaurant-hidden-in-Disneyland, Club 33.

My family totally punked me too.
I thought we we going to some other restaurant for a little birthday dinner....

Ummmmm, no.
I sipped champagne while wearing Mickey Ears.

Bestest part? They surprised me with 2 of our closest friends, who are also huuuge Disneyphiles like us...
I LOVED that they were there to share the experience with us.

This place was MAJOR. 
The food, the ambiance, the disney-done-supah-faaaaaancy, it fabulously unreal.

Okay, so enough is ENOUGH, right?


There were more presents...
Yep, more.
I won't list them all--seems tacky...ahem..


Remember the bag that I was obsessed with?

O got it for his Mommy.
Apparently, my toddler has quite the bankroll....

It's as gorgeous as I thought it would be.
And cavernous.

I adddddddooooooooorrrrrre it.


And not because of the gifts.

It was the time put in.
The thought.
All the work and planning solely to make me happy and feel special.

My husband, My ILs and my friends are RAD.

I love you all so much, and thank you for loving me!

I am one lucky Adult.

Surprise Party Cake! So Cute!

We were REALLY there.

Special Birthday Menu!

The Picture DOES NOT do it justice!

I'm Awesome at being FANCY.

Cheeky Waiter!

We had fun with this phone Booth!

Disney Gothic
If this picture doesn't sum us up, I don't know what would.