Monday, November 15, 2010

Hurray! Let's make a baby!

My spouseface does NOT have cancer. He's not going to die, nor is fertility being snatched away from us...(see title)...

The lumps are not dangerous in the immediate future....BUT He is going to follow-up with a urologist yearly from here-on-out, just to monitor the situation.

That's the gist of things!
He's kinda uncomfortable with his "dudes" being discussed in my blog, so that is all I will say.

Thank you for all the love/prayers/good vibes etc. We really appreciate it.

All off this madness as of late has made me think about mortality and such--How short life is.

So much of my life has been set up on the "when this, THEN this" type of schedule.

I've found myself asking the question: Do we (the universal we) have the time to keep to that schedule?

I mean, obviously, sometimes we have to.
We have to pay our bills before we go shopping for shoes.

But are we always supposed to wait? Do things the "right" way?

Every fiber of my brain screams yes to that question. My heart, on the other hand, wants things a little out of order.

I totally want to have another child. (like NOW)

I'm afraid that if we wait 'til it's the "right" time (we've moved out, become debt-free, we're making more money, etc.) it will be the wrong time for my body.

I'm  turning 30 in a few months. That's not old, but it's pushing it for someone with CP and CFS in terms of healthy pregnancies.
[And my pregnancy with O kicked my ASS.]

Plus, as you may have noticed, I'm often plagued with health issues. This makes me nervous about taking a leisurely stroll toward a second child.

Maybe we won't be able to have a second child, but I'd like to give us the best chances to try. I want to be as young/healthy-ISH as I can be.

Also? I would like for O and his potential sibling to be close in age.

Maybe it's greedy to want another baby, but I do! Is it?!

(It's funny, I had always thought I'd have 4 children. But life had a different plan. Sigh.)

If we can't have another baby, I will ALWAYS be beyond grateful that we were able to have Owen, but it will break my heart if we miss out on the gift a second child because we were waiting for the "right time" to start to try.

After almost three years of the wrong things happening to us/in our lives, it feels like the "Right Way" is a myth.

With the news of our "freedom" as it were, it feels like we need to carpe diem this mess!

But as my ILs heads would explode if we had another baby under their roof, I doubt we'll be carpe-ing OR diem-ing any time soon.

Which makes me a little sad. Okay, a lot sad, if I'm honest.

But my Hubs is of the non-cancerous variety, so Yippeeeeeee!


Endellion said...

you know very well the right way is a myth there's just what does and doesn't happen, no matter how much you plan life is not going to play by the rules we want it to. so have a schedule use it as a template but always remember let come what comes.

Happy Fun Pants said...

Oh! What a relief!

SO glad that he's in the clear. No matter what happens, THAT is most important!

Britt said...

I don't know why we were trained to think of the time-and-place-for-everything life plan. After interviewing many an elder, I'm finding it was a load of crap even for them. Most of us started our existence as accidents. Most of our parents had to struggle, if some slightly more or less than others. All of them struggled with the "what the poo am I going to be when I grow up?" thoughts. My mom is all but FORBIDDING me to start procreating until we have insurance. I get that it is the wiser path, I get that it is prudent and the best for my unborn progeny. Even husband doesn't want to try until I'm ALLLLLLLL done with school. (So, what? 2 years? 3? MORE?) So, even though I have been riddled with Baby Fever for the last 2 years and counting, I apparently *have* to wait until I meet everyone's standards to be a "good" parent. FUCKIT. I mean that to be one word. Make it your mantra. There is NO "right time". Not for us. Not hardly for anyone. Maybe wait a bit before starting on Jayne Baby 2, but I say if you long for it, try, try ,try away! You can always adopt when you're better off financially, but for now, you have healthy testes to be teste-ed! Teste them! Our bodies know when the time is "right", and that's when we gets the Baby Fever! Deadlier than dengue!

Kerry said...

ok well first of all YOU CAN STILL HAVE KIDS WITH ONE TESTICLE! that type of cancer is 95% curable ;)

BUT praise the lord for being cancer-free!

i do think if you can plan your 2nd child, then do so. you know you can't have major health issues and zero dollars. you don't want to be those kind of people! but at the same time, your ducks don't have to be in a row! because for most of us, our ducks are NEVER aligned. be smart and be healthy! i love you and O will have a sibling soon!!! :)