Hey Mister C!
I know it's been awhile since we've had any correspondence, but it's never to late to reconnect, right?
I need a favor. I need you to bring me some big-ticket items this Holiday Season. Yes, I know I'm almost 30. I know you've got that happiness of children across the world to worry about...nonetheless.
(Let's be honest, you can squeeze me in.)
I have been a very good girl and this has been a very hard year.
Here is what I'd like for Christmas:
1. I want to be debt-free. No more credit card, student loan, or medical debt. It's gonna run you about a $100,000.00 but trust me, it'll be worth it.
2. A new car. Our Jetta is dying, and really? SO NOT a family car. We'd really like the Chevy HHR. We found a lovely pre-owned one a CarMax-making your job THAT much easier.
That's it! That's all I want...well, I'd love health insurance, but I'm trying to be realistic here.
As the Jolliest of all Elves, I know you can make this happen. Pull some strings, call your friends (Oprah has GOT to be on your speed dial, and she could do this in her SLEEP.), work your Kringly magic.
I could really use a Christmas miracle this year, sir.
(And not to drag up the past, but this would TOTALLY make up for all the years you accidentally "missed" my house.)
PS. Fulfilling my Christmas Wish does not negate your duties to my son. He's not old enough to write letters or know who you are, but someday, he will. I would expect that his letters will be assessed fairly.
[In the event that this doesn't pan out, I've also written to Ellen.]