Monday, August 30, 2010

Yeah, I know. Lots to still be grateful for. Blah, Blah, BLAH.

So this month has been awesome.

In that "what ELSE can go wrong?" kinda way...

It started off on what could be mistaken for a positive trend, because after posting about the crash and burn of relocation, it seemed like we might actually see the sunshiney face of opportunity after all.

Ummm, yeah, we were wrong.

First there were the interviews for Hubs.

3 of them.

They required flying across the states and taking 2 days of of work (unpaid of course).

We'd just spent $800 dollars on much-needed glasses for ourselves (damn our poorly sighted eyeballs), so we couldn't really afford to go, but at the same time we couldn't really afford NOT to go.

Such is the game of Opportunity...

All seemed to be going well, until they moved the interview for the main job that he really wanted, so it became 3 days instead of 2.

But we persevered. Our savings, not so much....

First interview went swimmingly, but they told him upfront that he probably wouldn't be hired for that position because they felt he was a much better fit for the second position...

Peachy! That's the one he really wanted anyhow.

The second interview also went really well (although Husband initially thought he bombed it), and we were getting excited.

Picking-out-paint-colors-discussing-future-renos-on-a-house excited...

(Meanwhile, the third interview never happened, but it was meant to be more of a part-time gig, so we didn't feel too badly.)

A state job WITH Benes?? It was nothing but blues skiiiiiies for us, baby!

(Ohhh, how naive we were then...)

He flies home.

We hear nothing for 3 days. While we'd heard from a little birdie on the inside that they loved him, and were ready to hire him, we were panicking a little.

And with good reason. Despite the glowing reports and rumors of him being hired right away, they didn't hire him.

An eleventh hour interview by a former state employee with 6 years experience in that exact position had to darken our happy little doorstep.

They said all the things that employers say when you're not hired, and our little insider birdie assured us that it was all legit, and they really would keep him in mind for future openings, but told us frankly:

This is state work. Once someone gets in, they don't leave unless forced. We don't have a lot of turnover, so I can't say when/if we'll be hiring again.


I don't want to begrudge anyone a job, especially in this economy, but coooooome ON.

I can't help but be a little bitter.

I can't even begin to explain how much we needed this. For a multitude of reasons.

On top of all of that, we also got denied for health insurance.


Which is awesome, as I've been really sick, and been told repeatedly that I need to go see a specialist. But adding yet another pre-existing condition to the list of things they can deny me for? Yeah, that sounds terrific.

Don't even get me stared on paying out-of-pocket to just SEE the specialist...

The high-risk pools?

Holy Black Market Pricing, Batman!

You can't even get on the waiting list 'til October.

ANNND, they don't cover preventative care, just major medical. Like a gnarly car accident. Resulting in death.

If that didn't put a spring in our step, then getting our stroller jacked from Cheesecake Factory, did it for SURE.

Now, in all fairness, it was my fault. Sorta.

I'll explain:

O, MIL, her friend, and I all went to the mall. She had errands, I like air conditioning.

After work, Hubs met us for dinner.

Halfway through, O decides he's done for the day.

My spouse, being the gem that he is, offers to take him home and let me eat my dinner in peace.

Now, the CF won't let you bring your stroller into the dining area, so you have to park it in the lobby.

I LOATHE doing that, because I'm always paranoid that someone will jack my shit.

[What? I grew up in some shady neighborhoods...]

But, I soothed myself with the fact that this was South OC. Who'd want my piddly little Graco when Peg Peregos and McClarens abound?

[There's that pesky naivete, again...]


Hubs is going to take the baby, but he can't take the stroller because he's already got our little snap 'n go in his trunk, so our big stroller won't fit.
(Damn "compact" Jetta.)

He asks his mom to grab it as we leave and put in her trunk.
(Her Benz has a massive trunk. It's swank.)

Smart? Why, yes! Thanks for noticing!

He also leaves the behemoth piece of luggage I call the "baby bag" with me, because I need to clean up the swath of cheerios, discarded spoons and abandoned binkies that O has left in his wake.

A perfect plan!

That is, until yesterday.

Spouseface and I decide to go strolling around Disneyland with the monkey, but we wanted to swap with my MIL for the big stroller, because it's safer for crowded areas, and lots of walking.

We're already out running errands at Babies R Us, and the ILs are at Costco, so they decide to meet us there for the swap.

I leave to pee....

I come out, and Husband looks like he's gonna vomit.

"The stoller is gone," he says. "It got left."

As soon as the last word starts to come out of his mouth, the previous plan comes flooding back.

So after quite inappropriately yelling FUCK in a baby store, the restaurant is called.

They don't have it.

Still trying to hope, Mall Security is called (this particular CF location is in a large mall).

They don't have it.

Lost and Found?


After double and triple checking in person, our stroller is gone.

I feel like I'm going to cry and throw up. At.the.same.time.

How could I have walked away WITHOUT my child's stroller?! MOM FAIL.

Not to excuse my idiocy, but I'm fairly certain it's because I didn't have O. I never have one without the other.

Yes, I had his bag, but I think my thoughts focused on the fact that Hubben had the actual baby, which meant stroller/carseat combo to my addled brain.

So you may be saying to yourself:

That means you LOST the stroller, not had it STOLEN.

But wait!

Cheesecake said they didn't have the stroller when they closed that night. They closed at 10pm, we left at 8pm. Suspicious...


I remember thinking to myself (as Hubs was leaving):

It'll be impossible to forget the stroller because we'll have to walk RIGHT BY it to exit the premises. I didn't see a stroller in sight.

[I'm starting to smell a rat...]

If it were just forgotten then it should've still been waiting for me to claim it at CF, or at least in the Mall's Lost and Found.

But you and I both know that someone walked away with it.

It would be super easy to do.
It's not like I thought to install stroller lowjack...Next time, Next TIME.

Yes, I'm the moron (the exhausted, frazzled, Mommy moron) who forgot my stroller. Does that mean that I deserve to have it stolen?

I say NAY, it doth not.

Who the HELL shiests someone's stroller, anyhow?

I'm sorry, but the "Finders-Keepers" brand of property acquisition does not apply here.

I've said it before, and I will say it again-

To Whomever stole my stroller: You are a WHORE.

That sums up the month's top highlights!

Is everyone else as excited for the shenanigans of September as I am?

You'll be missed, little Graco.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I can dish it out, but can I take it?

(Advice, that is.)

Hell YES. I can!

Fellow Parents and/or Experienced Fliers (sp?), I need your wisdom!

The Hubs and I are flying to West Virginia Labor Day Weekend to visit his family (for a week), and introduce them all to the baby...and have a surprise party for Spouseface's grand-dad who is turning 80...and have O christened in the church where his daddy was christened...

We have never flown with a baby.
Who will be a little over 10 months old at the time of take-off.
We're a little apprehensive.

Traveling makes me nervous as it is, probably b/c I haven't really done THAT much of it.

I'm always afraid that I'll miss my flight/connection, that I'll get lost (I will get lost in a paper bag, it's pathetic.), that I didn't pack the right things, etc.

My Hubs-he's good at it. He lived overseas, he traveled a lot, he's pretty much got it together when flying...


He gets nervous when situations involve the baby.

He's used to just worrying about me, (which he would do even if I was the most seasoned flier to ever have flown, that's just how he rolls) so I'm afraid he might get overwhelmed with anxiety when he adds our son to the worry list.

I'm anxious, and we're a month out. I just know my son. He's a sweet boy, but SUPER active, and he HATES to be confined.

[I have this picture in my head of him SCREAMING bloody murder throughout the duration of the 5 hour flight, culminating in our fellow passengers demanding that we poisoned to death by stale airplane food.]

So help a Mama out:

What's the best routine to get through check-in and security?
What do I pack?
What happens if he has a blow out in his diaper
How do I best combat the Screamies?
How do I help the pressure in his little ears?
What other things should I know?
Is there any hope for us at all?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Mommy Means Well Mondays! Ed. 2

(How is it Monday already?!)

Mommy Means Well Mondays: Ed. 2

Where I give you advice, tips, or just rant about life/motherhood. Whether you ask for it or not. Yay!

This week, someone DID ask a question (it's legit-PROMISE):

"Queen" Vic writes...
"I dont have kids (yet), but I teach 2nd graders and I've always wanted to know how parents deal with giving their kids the best with out spoiling them (I've only seen this done successfully a handful of times, I think!)"

MMWM Answers...
I haven't been a mom for very long, so to claim any sort of expertise in that matter would be ridiculous, but here's what I think is the key thing to remember when trying to not spoil your mini-me:

You're like so totally NOT their BFF.
[Say WHAAT?]

We all want our children to think that we're cool, and we all want our kids to be our BFFs. Why? Because Damn it!

We're not going to be ridiculously unfair [Read: Assholes] like our parents were. We "get it" like they never did, right?

Maybe, maybe not.

Either way, it is not our job to be cool (we're sooo not anymore, BTW.), and it's sure as shit not our job to be our child's BFF.

That's what the playground is for. Well, that and abject humiliation, but ya gotta take the good with the bad...

Our job is (DEEP breath here, guys.) to: LAY DOWN THE LAW*.

To guide them, to establish boundaries and teach them that their actions have consequence.

I'm not saying to get all Mommie Dearest, about it, I'm just saying that trying to be the "cool mom" is like a fastpass to Lohan-Land.

And nobody wants that.

Well, that wraps up MMWM for this week!

(It's okay to breathe as you wait on pins and needles for next week's heaping helping of helpfulness.)

~Need advice? Got a question? Think I'm nuts? Write in (via email) or leave a comment to be featured on next week's MMWM!

*Foot Note:

I think it's important to recognize that every child is different, so you really have to tune into your child's learning style and disposition to best communicate (every child deserves to be talked TO, not AT)-and therefore establish boundaries with him/her, creating a healthy parent/child relationship.