As soon as you get married, people immediately start asking you about babies.
Someone asked us AT our wedding.
It's a lot of pressure.
When you finally (if you are lucky enough) HAVE your first child, people immediately start asking about siblings.
Also--A LOT of pressure.
I was at book club the other night and the "when-are-you-guys-having another-baby" topic came up again....
I hate having this conversation.
If you read my blog often, you'll know that I MOST DEFINITELY want another child.
I worry about it a lot actually:
Will we be able to?
What about our money issues?
WHEN will we be able to?
What about our living situation?
What if it takes years?
How far apart will the kids grow up?
I am definitely feeling the burn of baby fever, but I hate having that conversation because of the explaining that goes with it....
Yes, we want to have another baby but we have to wait until X-Y-Z....
Not so bad, except that people are starting to say things like:
Well, you don't want to wait TOO long, and/or it's not good for kids to be too far apart...
That's the LAST thing I need to hear.
I ALREADY stay awake at night with those thoughts all by my damn neurotic self!
Reinforcement of those fears is unnecessary.
The sad thing is?
I know I've done it!
Asked couples about babies....
Asked them about sibling-type babies....
Encouraged more babies....
I just LOVE children.
As do most of the women I know.
The creation of a new life, the building of a family?
But it's never as simple as you wish it could be.
I am so incredibly lucky to have my son.
He is a gift of massive proportions.
So I feel guilty sometimes when I find myself wishing so fervently for another child.
Especially when I know women desperately trying to conceive at ALL, let alone, AGAIN...
On the other hand though, I get angry when I'm made to feel guilty for wanting another child because I don't meet the "right" criteria that somehow would ALLOW me to have another child.
I want to have another child.
I desperately want O to have a sibling, a playmate.
One that is his age.
I have no idea when/if that will happen, but in the meantime I will enjoy every minute with the one child I have and continue to wish....
For myself and all the other women out there wishing for a little baby dust to be sprinkled their way.
With extra handfuls for those who are still waiting for it to FINALLY be their turn.
Life is never as simple as we hope it would be.....
If you get a chance--
please visit my friend over at Hasta Claridad.
She's written a piece that so beautifully and painfully captures the feelings you struggle with when trying to have a child, and you wonder if you ever will.
I knew that feeling well, as I'm sure some of you do/have too.
Stop by and give her some love. Encourage her journey and applaud her honesty.