Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Countdown Begins...can it go faster?

If O comes on time, he will be here in 62 days.

That seems like eons from now. Induction is seeming more and more lovely. Ha!

To be frank-

I am in so much pain, I can't F&^#ing STAND IT.

My lower body and its corresponding muscles and joints are staging a revolt.

They've been at if for a  months, and they're not being peaceful about it...

They're making me feel useless and handicapped.

While I technically AM handicapped (I prefer the term disabled. Never use "handicapable in my presence, k? It will not end well), it's been a long time since I have truly felt that way.

I can't get out of bed without help. The stairs are my nemesis. I started crying while trying to put on my own underwear.


These are some old, familiar, feelings that I never wanted to revisit.

I described the pain to my OB today at my appointment thusly:

"Imagine you were me. Pregnant with CP. Then imagine that you had to simultaneously bike the Tour de France AND do the "Rocky" stair climb. Hit repeat til dead."

This is what it feels like I've done to my body.



His paraphrased answer was:

"sucks to be you, but there isn't really anything I can do."

And BTW, It will "get worse before it gets better."


Fuuuuuuuuuc.......me.

(Wait, that's how I got into this mess.)


He has told me to stay in bed.
Great.
Bed Rest.

He also suggested regular prenatal massages.....

As that is not a service covered by Medi-Cal or our wallets, it looks like I'll have to make due with the shower head aimed strategically and set to (as my husband has so charmingly deemed it) "masturbate".

Oh, the joys that lie ahead.

62 days.

Oh.My.SWEET.LOOOOORDY.

PS.

Owen is fine.

So am I.

Okay.

Not really, but I'm not near death or anything.

I just want to disconnect the top half of my body from the lower half.

No Big.

I should be back to my only "slightly gimpy" self after he is born.

And, No.

It is not okay for you to use the term "gimpy" in my presence either....

3 comments:

Erin said...

Oh Courtney, I am so sorry to hear you're in a world of hurt over there, but--man,oh,man--are you entertaining while you're at it! I totally LOL'ed at this blog. Keep up with the entries and make a book out of this after its over and you'll never have $$ worries again my friend!

happyfunpants said...

Hey there. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this. I'm so backlogged on reading blogs - so I'm just now getting to your posts.

But just so you know? Owen is one very lucky kid already!

Kat said...

What a lot to deal with! I wish I had some words of advice or some well stated encouragement, but I honestly have no idea what it's like to feel the way you feel! I am so sorry you are going through 2 more months of pain. That just sucks ass. Really big ass, the kinda Ass Sir Mix-A-LOT sang about.