Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The conclusion of Boob-Gate 09

I have thrown in the towel...erm, pump.

Owen doesn't want my nipples, he wants the silicone ones (that's what I get for having a baby in South County), and nothing I do is going to change that.

Pumping is a done deal as well. He's 3 weeks old today, and the lactation lagoon has dried up.

And nothing makes you feel more womanly than realizing your chest has turned into the Dust Bowl (how will I ever save a starving stranger now?)...

Sadness.

I have to keep reminding myself though, that this isn't about me. It's about the baby; he is perfectly healthy and content with his bottle of formula, and I am not an asshole or unfit mother because I couldn't breastfeed.

I'm working really hard to believe that, and not be negative about it.

(Sometimes however, I do find myself giving the formula can dirty looks...USURPER!)

As much as I hate to admit it, waving the white flag on this whole feeding fiasco has made things a lot easier.

I am less frustrated, the sobbing has all but quit (pregnancy hormones ain't got NOTHING on postpartum ones), and I get to spend more time cuddling Owen.

He's so good. He's waking up about every 2-2.5 hrs at night, but will usually go right back to sleep after a bottle and a dry diaper.

The pediatrician says he looks great, and I swear, he gets bigger each day!

I don't want him to grow up!

And yes, believe it or not, I get super-bummed sometimes that he's no longer in my belly....

But then I remember the constant pain, and I snap out of it pretty quickly.


Oh! Oh! Oh!

I am sleeping in my own bed again!

I'm thinking of burning the Poang chair in effigy.

3 comments:

Stacy said...

My name is Stacy and I have been reading your blog for some time now. I'm a friend of Kat Alvarado. I was drawn to your blog because we had babies around the same time. Lucas will be 4 week tomorrow. I too gave up breast feeding. I has flat nipples and the sheilds were not working. So mine just using my boobies as great pillows.

Thank you for all the laughs and to know there is someone else out there going through the same thing!

JayneSees said...

Hi Stacy! You are welcome! Thanks for reading. :)

Rachel said...

I love keeping up with your blog, you make me smile! Love the "South County" reference, lol. Hope Mr. Owen and you guys are doing well, you're doing everything right, some of us just don't have the boobs or the milk for it. It sucks, but you're totally right that it's about them and not us. Good for me to remember if it doesn't work out for baby #2 someday as well. Love you mama! Hope to see you again soon :)
Love,
Rach