Thursday, April 26, 2012

Hagatha Sluttine and other name ideas...

Naming a child is a pretty fucking big deal, if you think about it.

You are giving another human being their signature, for crying out loud...

So when you find a name you loooove?

You feel great about life. Obviously.

It's decided!
A weight is lifted!

You are all kinds of on top of this parental gig!


Because of your joy and excitement, the shouting from the mountain tops begins!

That's when shit gets real, kids.

You see, when you share, there will sometimes be an alarmingly vocal amount of folks who take your jubilant declaration as a mere suggestion/lark, and will waste no time in telling you what you SHOULD name your child.


Your name choice sucks. Duh.

And if you are super-lucky, they'll even be gracious enough to tell you WHY.

So considerate.

When I was pregnant with my son, the concept blew me away.

How rude is that??
People really DO that??

I got lucky with O.

A few slight comments, but that was it.

Perhaps the whole "name hazing" thing was overblown....

And then I shared my daughter's name with a few family members.

"Why THAT name?!"

"So, you want people to make fun of her?"

"There are so many other CUTER names."

"Ugh. You need to pick something else!"

"Well, I just hope she doesn't come home from school crying..."

UMMMM. What.the.FUCK?

Look. I get it.

Everyone has their own tastes.

Maybe you hate the name I've picked for my daughter, I understand that.

Perhaps it is the last name on EARF you would consider, and it makes you sad that I would strap an innocent being with such a moniker...

That's your prerogative, as it were.


There have been times where someone has happily shared their name choice with me, and inwardly, I groaned...

The key word here?
As in: to mydamnself.

See where I'm going here?

Because unless you are naming your daughter something pole/gang-worthy like Harlotte or Felonie?

(both true stories, folks)

It is not my place to stomp on the joy of your choice.

Or insult your parenting skills.

It's my job to smile and congratulate you on making such a meaningful decision.

You know, that whole "your child, your business meets basic manners" thing...

You don't have to agree with, enjoy or understand my choice, but you SHOULD avoid shitting all over it.

Not that it'll change my mind, but it will piss me off.

That being said:

If Harlotte of Felonie top your list, I will say something to you.

I'll try to be tactful, but I make no promises.


Stasha said...

And what is this lovely name you have picked out??

I remember when I told my Mom my daughter's name (which is Kaylee) her face dropped instantly. She did not like that name at all.

She spent the better part of three months trying to convince me of any name but that one.

Oh well. Guess who won that war?

I did!


angel shrout said...

LMBO at your tags. I think the name is a personal choice and as such others should respect that. But naming them something like harlot even if you do spell it differently, you are asking for someone to step up and ask what is wrong with you...seriously?

Endellion said...

you have to use my method of parenting make all others fear you then they will never say anything about you, your parenting, or your child. i know people dont like nadja's name, and they really didnt like it when it was going to be europa but, they also knew i felt the easiest way to deal with them would be to not.

Jayne said...

This is why I'm so bitter my tags aren't showing up for everyone!

Her name was in the tags....

It's Penelope, btw. :)

Jayne said...

Ha! Thanks!

The girl that was considering Harlotte thought it was a unique variation on Charlotte.

She apparently had never come across the term harlot...sigh.

Jayne said...

LOL. I adore you.

Robin | Farewell, Stranger said...

Felonie? Felonie?! Sigh.

I like the name you picked. :)

Mrs. Kelsey said...

As a teacher, who comes across MILLIONS of crazy names every year (give or take a few), not only is there nothing WRONG with the name Penelope, it, in fact, is quite lovely. It sounds classic, without sounding "old"; and it's different enough that she will be unique (not that she won't already be unique). Are you sticking strictly with Penelope, or giving nicknames immediately, like we did with Tori? (I totally did not want her to be a Vicky)

Crown'd Vic said...

Mike & I play the "name game" and are not even pregnant, or planning on expanding our family anytime soon.

But he and I disagree on EVERY name.

"grandma chic" names are "in" right now.

But here's what I've learned from teaching for 8 years and getting to know over 100+ kids: it doesn't matter what you name your kid, as long as you like them and help them to be sensitive, caring, members of society.

I doubt you'll have a problem with that.


Crown'd Vic said...


Penelope is a *beaaaauuutiful* name!!!

I love it.

Leighannn said...

Did you change your blog again? I like it.
We shared a few names with family for our daughter but stopped after they started making fun of/cutting up everyone we loved. When we finally chose her name we didn't tell anyone and announced it when she was born. Best decision ever!!

Jayne said...

@Robin Yes, Felonie. Oy. And thank you :)

@Mrs. Kelsey I'd really like her to be Penelope or Penny.

@Vic We picked names pre-babies too, which was hard b/c we also disagreed AS WELL, but as friends got had babes before us, a few of our fave names were taken. We both love Penelope though, thankfully!

@leighann I did change it! Trying to streamline it and make it more user-friendly, but I'm thinking of jumping ship to wordpress as blogger is pissing me off.

Jaime White said...

Hence the reason we keep our names secret. Figured once the kid is born I could name it Shithead and everyone would go "Awe Shithead, so perfect."

People are idiots.

Personally, I LOVE...big puffy heart LOVE...Penelope. Can not deal with the perfection of that name. Good choice mamma.

Jaime White said...

Oh and if you named your kid Shithead, I'd totally say the same thing ;)

Jayne said...

@jaime LOL. A friend of mine swears that at a classroom sign-up a little girl introduced herself as "Sha-theed" ...spelled: Shithead. OMG.