Monday, September 20, 2010

Well, we're back and stuff.

We're back! Thank GAWWWD.

The trip was a stressOrama moneypit. It was also soul-crushingly depressing for the Hubs and I, BUUUUT WAIT!

It did have its high points FO SHO:

1. O did AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC on both the trip there, and the trip home. He had a couple cranky moments, but nothing major, and Delta airlines just thinks he's a peach. I am one proud Mama. Seriously, I think Hubben and I were crankier than he was.

2. Seeing my Hub's family (we hadn't seen most of them in 3 years, and who knows when we will again?, and we always enjoy our time with them.

3. O meeting those family members.

4. Hub's grandfather's 80th surprise party (after months of planning and stress for my MIL, it went swimmingly).

5. O's christening (he was HANDS DOWN the best-behaved child I've ever seen in a church-I'm not saying that b/c he's mine, either.) was beautiful.

All of that was swell. Warm and Fuzzies all around!

Being stuck without a rental car, Hubs not really having time to look for work/interview (which was why he took an unpaid week off of work) and the amount of money that flew out of of savings account [read: almost ALL] was not. Neither was my body's decision to revolt-making me feel like crap the whole time...My period coming a week early was an especially nice touch.

That could all be overlooked as the perils of traveling, I know.

The knife in our backs was really staying at my Hubby's grandmother's house.

(The house has sat empty for almost 2 years-his Grams now lives in a nursing home)


Because it was the house we would have moved into if Husbandface had gotten the job.

The house that we spent hours decorating in our minds and making plans for the future. We even talked about having another baby if it happened.

(In hindsight, not the best idea, but we were attempting to be hopeful.)

I think we were both taken aback at how hard it all sort of kicked us in the teeth as we arrived, and kinda hung over us like a shadow the whole week we were there.

We just felt even more stuck. Even farther from where we want so badly to be, if that makes sense...

And I realize that I should have just but I couldn't stop worrying about money. We absolutely had no business taking a trip (albeit a mandatory one) for a DAY let alone, a WEEK, so I was wracked with panic over it the majority of the trip. I don't think it helped that my darling Hubben was also freaking out over the fact that our plan of him hitting the pavement with a vengeance every day that week to look for jobs/interview pretty much fell flat on its proverbial ass, and there wasn't jack we could do about it.

Did I mention that the Man and I spent that week sleeping on a full-sized bed when we're used to our king? Yeah....

But, we got thru it, and managed to fly home safely with our son (and our marriage) intact.

However, coming back home was rough.

It was like leaving the field utterly defeated.

We walked back through the doors of my IL's house totally broke, having made NO progress while in WV.

Yes, we knew as we left that THAT may be the outcome, but we were trying once again, to be positive.

As for our plan forward, we don't really know. We need a miracle. I've been campaigning for one since I got pregnant with O, so maybe we'll get it eventually.

And before anyone pipes up to tell me how fortunate I already AM, I know.

We are extremely grateful that my husband's parent's have opened their home to us, and even more grateful that through the last few years at least one of us was able to keep his job. We are so thankful for what we have because we know that it could be worse.

That being said, we need to get out on our own. The living with his parents situation is NOT a forever deal. We knew that coming into it, and we've already been here far longer than either party expected or wanted.

Even more pressing, we have a child that we want to give a home to. One that is our own.


On a lighter note,

For the sake of our sanity (and sex life), Hubs and I decided to turn our little "apt." into 2 distinct bedrooms.

You know what that means!

Baby has his OWN room!

It's so cute!

We seriously spent from 9am-12am putting it all together. We totally lucked out b/c friends of ours gave us a crib, and we already had a dresser for him (that we also use as a changing table). So all we needed to buy was a shelving unit for his toys, a crib mattress, some bedding, and some adorable wall decals for art.

Did I mention it looks really cute?!
'Cos it is.
I will add a picture next post.

It's definitely lifted our spirits to give O a nursery. we've been waiting to do that since we got pregnant.

Tonight will be the first night he sleeps in there!

Wish me luck...I'll probably cry more than he does.

1 comment:

Brandywine said...

I love you! And I miss you. And I wish that we lived closer so we could be crabby together and talk shit together and watch our little boys be best friends :)