Thursday, August 27, 2009

Did I say "Tired and Fat?" No, I TOTALLY meant "Blissful and Womanly." Really!

No I didn't. I'm a liar.

What I meant to say was: EXHAUSTED and GINORMOUS.

And, And, ANDDDD....

I'd really like to have control of my bladder back.


But that's not what people want to hear when they ask how you are doing in your pregnancy.


Because if I told them that my feet are painfully swollen, that I have menopausal-level hot flashes, that my back and hips are in so much pain it feels like they're trying to secede from the union that is my skeletal system, and peeing my pants is becoming a daily occurrence--that thing will happen where their eyes sorta glaze over and that polite smile crosses their face....

Uh Oh. I've lost them and have now entered that awkward territory.

You know the one, that place where the person you just said that to tries to then reassure you that you will love being a mother and love your baby?

For Pete's sake!

Of course I will love being a mother! Of COURSE of will love my baby! I already do!


I'm ECSTATIC to be pregnant, I'm just having a rough time with some of the "side effects," if you will.


So I smile and jokingly say "tired and fat"...hee hee!

I thought this was safe. Humourous, light, not a lie, but not the full story--you know, keepin' it casual....


Until I said it to one of my MILs friends while were were having lunch.

This was her response:

"Oh, honey, you don't know the half of it. This is the easy part!" "Just enjoy it, because your next pregnancy will never be as easy as your first, especially with another little one running around, so appreciate this magical time, because you NEVER get to have a first pregnancy again."


Well, shit.

Now, I feel like an asshole for not appreciating my pregnancy enough, AND you've completely terrified me about having a second child.


Awesome.

Pass the butter. I'll stuff down my fears with carbs for the time-being.


Soooo nice to see you, btw. So nice.

Thanks.

4 comments:

he calls me wifey said...

i'm sorry but you're MIL's friend is a giant bitch. i know a lot of women who have had more than one child and they all say the first pregnancy is the hardest. how long has it been since SHE had a baby?? apparently a really long time.

how dare anybody get upset with you for being honest and saying that pregnancy is not a walk in the park. my mom cried every single day that she was pregnant with me...

it's just ridiculous for people to assume that you're gonna be all sweet and breezy all the time. YOU HAVE A CHILD INSIDE YOUR BODY WHO IS SQUISHING YOUR ORGANS AND EATING ALL OF YOUR FOOD AND PUSHING ON YOUR BLADDER MAKING YOU PEE YOUR PANTS ON A DAILY BASIS. what the hell are these people expecting of you?

sorry i just had to rant, i can't believe how people are reacting to you. it's only natural for you to feel the way you do!

hang in there girl and i'll be your cheerleader!

JayneSees said...

Haha! You crack me up! I don't know this woman very well, and I don't think she meant to be unkind, but she was just so matter-of-fact about it. Like I was just some naive kid who didn't know what "hard" actually was....I think she thought she was being helpful.

Alisa Marie said...

you made me laugh out loud in a quiet room full of people!!!! I love you and I miss our talks! I need your number so we can chat and you can make me laugh! I'll be praying that you don't pee your pants again! I'll sit and listen to anything you have to say and i promise not to wish i never asked that question!!!!!

happyfunpants said...

Nice. I'm never having sex again.