Not that it's a shocker, but I'm not so good at being an optimist.
But, I decided that I would try harder to cast a rosy glow onto whatever I could, and keep sippin' on that damn half-full glass o' life (not to be confused with "the Kool-Ade").
[It's all irritating as shit.]
I've spent the last 6 months or so, repeating this to myself:
"be Positive-be Patient-be Proactive!"
They are my P's of Peacefulness!
I thought it would help me be less stressed. That by surrendering to patience (however violently, ahem.), I would begin to see how change comes in small, but important ways. By taking a proactive stance, I would participate in making my life better and get to where I (and my family) needed to be, but I wouldn't be trying to FORCE life to happen...as is my usual MO.
I would be calm and serene. I would be living in the moment. Appreciating things in their own time.
Friends? I am so not that fucking person.
You know what helps me to get through the day?
Planning for and expecting the worst. Truly, it does.
In doing so, I know what I might be up against, and I have a plan! Or, at the very least, I've steeled myself for battle and will not be caught unawares if calamity is to strike.
When the worst doesn't happen (which is kinda rare in neck of the woods), or falls below the level of expectation, it's a nice surprise! A breath of fresh air.
SADLY, today, I was caught unawares.
Positivity clouded my judgment!
Damn sunshiney rays blinded me to reality...
We are budgeted to the nickel.
And, to kick off 2011,
we just started paying my in-laws rent,
AND our car payments started up.
So that nickel is all the more teensy....
Positive, albeit, money-draining changes.
Heeeey, though! Turn that frown upside down! We were gonna make it! It'll be fine! Husband's totally gonna find extra work ANY DAY NOW, and that will loosen the belt FOR SURE!
Sure, there was no way that my husband could ever take a sick day on this budget, but that NEVER happens...even when he is a little under the weather, he makes it to work!
Until he wakes up at 4am to have a vomitfest this morning. No work for you, pukey!
Craptacular. I did not budget for this.
Curse you, Freaking Optimism!
Did I mention that we're already counting down the days and the pennies 'til next payday?
(10, in case you were wondering...)
This, darling readers, is why I'd pick my P's to propose:
"be Pragmatic-be Planning-be Prepared (for the worst!)!"
They are my P's of Progress!
They just aid in making life's bitter pills a little bit sweeter....
For Me, anyway.