Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Oldy Oldenstein.

I am 30.

That is NOT old in the grand scheme of life, but I definitely have my moments where I feel ancient.

Examples, you say?

On it!

1. Trying to do my hair and thinking, will I be "that lady" if I rock low mini-pigtails?

2. Thinking that a 10:45pm showing on a SATURDAY night is way too fucking late.

3. Admiring the hotness of a 19-year-old and grossing myself out because he is a FETUS.

4. Telling a group of teens that they need to watch their language!!! (Hypocrite much?)

5. Not seeing the fun of going out to the bar. AT ALL.

6. Realizing that my only vice is baked goods.

7. Scheduling sex.

8. Making weekly trips to Target for groceries and wet wipes.

9. Dressing up just means no stains.

10. Wanting to be hit on by a random stranger just so you don't feel so invisible, rather than avoiding them like the plague.


I used to be hot(ish).
I used to stay out til 3am.
Men used to hit on me fairly frequently.


Men hit me with food and laundry and blocks.


I'm not old!

I'm just a Parent.

Take that, TIME.

I'm still a spring chicken, bitches!

(Who's really ready for bed. Ahem.)

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