Monday, May 30, 2011

The Silver Unemployment Line(ing)?

A pet peeve of mine?

When you’re really upset over something legitimately crappy and someone gives you that patronizing sigh and says:

Well, It COULD be WORSE*, you know...

Trust me, I’m fully aware of that thank you, but could you give me a freaking minute??

(Worse still? “Blessing in Disguise…” Makes me see RED.)

My Husband was laid off last Monday.

He had to repeat it to me at least 5 times before the words even started making sense…

He’s been with them for almost 4 years.

When the owner was still operating out of his dad’s house.

Huz was instrumental in getting their office up and running.
He WAS that damn office for the first year and a half.
Organizing/Cataloging their inventory.
Training the other employees.
Making connections with vendors and customers alike.
Helping to BUILD.

And his boss just walked in last Monday afternoon, after he’d worked almost a full day, handed him unemployment paperwork and said:

“We’re Sorry.”

With that, he had to pack up his shit, hand over his key and vacate the premises.

No explanation.
Not even two weeks pay.

The other two employees in the office?
The ones MY Husband trained?
Still have their jobs.

We were completely floored.
Yes, it was tiny company.
Yes, business was slow.
But they kept saying that his job was fine.
We naively assumed that he would be the LAST person to go.

Not that I wish for anyone else to be unemployed, but it’s pretty sad when loyalty/hard work means NOTHING.

We haven’t got any savings or any real money in our bank account.
We are now a zero-income family.
With a child and $2000 a month in bills to cover.

[With about a $100,000 in debt from student loans/medical bills/car loan that we're trying to repay, the bulk of which can't be declared in Bankruptcy, so that option is out]

Fucking HELL.

I am panicked.
My husband is panicked. He just represses it better.
I spent the last 3 days vomiting; I’m pretty sure due to stress.

No, we will not go homeless or hungry, thanks to the in-laws, and that is HUGE…

But it’s hard to breathe a sigh of relief when there are all these bills hanging over our heads….

[and we all know the domino effect that begins when those bills don't get paid on time or ya know, AT ALL....]

I don’t know what the fuck we’re going to do.

I paid the car insurance
The car payment
The phone bill
And bought diapers/wipes for the month.

That’s ALL, folks. We are tapped.

I had a melt-down this afternoon when I realized we were out of milk for O and had no money for groceries…Of Course the ILs got the milk, but just the realization of being that tapped sent me to a dark place...

Spouseface applied for unemployment, and we’ve applied for Medi-Cal…hopefully we’ll be approved and both will start soon, but UE is barely gonna make a dent.

Huz needs to find a job ASAP.  Like yesterday.

Did I mention the $5000 ER bills we got in the mail? With the notification that more are probably on their way?

It’s a party over here, people.

I’m giving out panic attacks and the nervous shits as party favors.


Help is on its way, right?



Suuuuure. Why not!


*My heart goes out to all of the families out there struggling like we are, but ESPECIALLY to those families who are victims of natural disasters. I DO know that it could be truly worse, and that I am lucky in my own way.


Zoe Paige said...

Jayne....I'm SO sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help. But i think im halfway across the world from you :( you and your fam are in my thoughts xxx goodluck with the job, and bless the in laws x

Jayne said...

Zoe-Thank you so much! It's just helpful to know that people are rooting for us, such as lovely strangers like yourself. :)

Zoe Paige said...

You are an amazing woman [I've read your blog -love!]! Keep the Happy thoughts up, and good things will happen! :)

Danna said...

Ugh, I am so very sorry my dear. I wish that there was some way that I could make it better. Sigh. Since I can't do that, I can tell you that I will be here for you, I can support and encourage you. (((hugs))) and prayers and love, Danna

Anonymous said...

I've been there chick, and its not a fun place to be. We're teetering on that ledge now. I have less than 3 dollars in the bank and I can't work anymore. If hubby loosed his job, we're screwed.

I'm here if you want to talk or vent to an understanding ear. ((Hugs))

Cave Momma said...

I said it before, I'll say it again. I'm so sorry. I totally know how it is and there is no good about it. It may prove to be in a year or two or more but right now? It sucks big donkey balls.

If you need anything... diapers? Wipes? Alcohol? lol Please let me know.

Jenna said...

love you, thinking of you, and listening. *HUG*

Stasha said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers sweetie.

I am riding on the same boat with you.

The best thing to do is to TRY (and I know it's hard, believe me) to stay positive.

kristi said...

I'm pretty sure I'm one of those people who said that things could be worse. I'm sorry that offended you. As an optimistic person, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say anymore.

Jayne said...

Zoe-You're so sweet!

Danna-Thanks as always, friend!

Phases of Me-Yuck! I'm so sorry you guys know that same scary feeling. Too many people do these days. I appreciate you listening, and know that I will do the same! :)

Jeneva-HA! You always make me laugh. Thank you.

Jenna-I know, and that mean a lot.

Stasha-Uggh. As much as I enjoy your company, I wish we weren't in the same boat! Ha! Too many of us in this damn rickety ass boat!
We are trying to stay positive, but we definitely need our time to freak out, deal with the ugly, and regroup. Sigh.

Kristi- I started to answer your comment here, but I got a tad long-winded (shocker!), so I messaged you! :)

thepsychobabble said...

I'm sorry.

Amy said...

I'm SO sorry. I've so been there. Living with my parents, a baby, a husband. Months behind on the bills, can't even afford diapers. It's an awful awful place to be. I would try to have your husband find some temp work through an agency while he searches for another "permanent" job. What a lousy thing for them to do. How truly awful. Big hugs and prayers your way!

livingsj77 said...

Okay...this is probably going to be so long because I have ALOT to say...

First - I'm so sorry. I've already told you that, and it probably doesn't even matter, but I am. It sucks that anyone has to be in this position.

Second - People who say those crappy things like "God has a plan" and "Everything happens for a reason" don't know what to say. They are not willing to look at you and see that they could be you. In my experience, these things scare them and if they can just hold on to that pathetic piece of advice and actually believe it, then bad things won't happen to them. So ignore all those people or just remember that they haven't got a clue.

Third - Call the hospital. We had a baby on SHITTY health insurance while my husband was unemployed. We owed 6 grand. They reduced some of the cost and put us on a payment plan. They can not send you to collections if you are paying them every month...that means even a dollar. Because it's medically related, they can't. (I'm pretty sure that's a national thing - hope I'm not lying to you).

Finally - It's going to be're going to come out of this with more debt and you're going to feel like you can't overcome it (I know because I'm there right now - two full time paychecks and still trying to get out from under the 18 months of unemployment). But - you will. You will get out of it. I know we've never met face to face, but I read all your words and you are a strong, beautiful person and I know that you and your wonderful family will overcome this. Until that time I will be thinking of you and sending all my good thoughts to you.

Love and hugs to you friend.

The Sweetest said...

Holy crap, Jayne- I will never tell you that it could be worse, because each moment in our lives counts for that moment- and this moment could not be worse. I think livingsj77 has some real words o wisdom, there, and she is right about the medical bills. As long as you are making attempts to contact the bill collector and your ins company, they cannot penalize you. This WILL pass. Probably not tomorrow, but it will. And we are all here for you.

hannah singer said...

oh, sweet girl! this makes me hurt badly for you and your family!
two years ago, this was us.

we have only very recently gotten caught up. these last two years were awful in so many ways. it was so hard to see light and not be constantly depressed.
we clung to the psalms-Psalm 71:20
"You have allowed me to suffer much hardship,
but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth."

one day at a time.
i wish i was there, i would love to help you through this! know that you are prayed for and understood-this does totally suck and it is way hard. i wish i knew when, but it will get better. so thankful you have family that is helpful!


Jayne said...

Amy-Thank you! It's so sad to me that so many of us our in the same boat, but I so appreciate your encouragement!

Carrie-I know you guys are, and that means a lot to me!

Jamie-Thanks friend! I emailed you!

Thank you, Hannah! We are trying to keep our heads up!

Lots of love to all of you lovely ladies!

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