Here we go AGAIN.

For the last 2 weeks, I've been having what I thought was abdominal pain...

by this last weekend the pain was shooting up into my back into what felt like my kidneys...full force.

SHIT.

As an uninsured individual, I don't go to the doctor unless there is copious amounts of blood, vomit/fever, and/or pain involved.

Well, the pain was bad.  It had BEEN bad and wasn't really getting better.

AND, my in-laws are leaving for almost 2 weeks tomorrow....

I figured I should get my ass to the ER.


There goes thousands of $$$ we don't have...woot.

I get to the ER and they're relatively empty.
When they lead me back, still pretty quiet.

I take this as a good sign. Maybe they will actually give me some answers.


But alas....

They draw blood, take urine samples and give me fluids.
Then they run a CT scan.

A couple hours later, someone comes back to tell me that I'm not pregnant.

No? Really? Arrrrgh. Because that's what I'm here for....

That was the most definitive answer I got all damn day.

Later another nurse comes to tell me that I need to give them another urine sample because the previous showed that I had a UTI.

Okay...will I be getting antibiotics?

No I will not, not until they no for sure....

Alrighty!

Give them another sample.

Wait....some....more....

Nurse come back:


We need to catheterize you because your samples keep coming back contaminated.


Ummm, what?

Apparently, while the samples were showing signs of a  UTI, they were concerned that I wasn't giving them a clean sample...
...or you know, I could just have a UTI, there's always that....

So they finally get their precious clean sample...

I'm told I'll have results in a week.


SERIOUSLY?

Then, the practitioner comes in.
[He's not the doctor listed on my chart, but I'm sire I'll be charged for the mythical doctor anyway....]
He tells me that the CT scans showed kidney stones....


Ohhhh! So THAT'S what's wrong with me! 

Nope. The stones are not the problem. They could become a problem, but aren't an issue right now.

What are they going to do about the them?
Nothing.

Okaaay.

But there is something else.

Swelling around my pancreas.  Which I am quickly informed is NOT pancreatitis.

They don't know what it is.

Can I see a doctor who would know while I am here?

Nope.

I have to go to a specialist.

What will he do?

Run tests.

You mean like the ones you guys ran today?
Ahem.

That was met with withering condescension...

The practitioner left, and yet another one comes in.


Can someone tell me about my blood/urine results?

Apparently, they must be normal because someone would have informed me if there was a problem.

Well, if that's not fucking reassuring, I don't know what is.

It becomes clear that I won't be getting any answers when they start talking about discharging me.

Ummmm, what about my pain?
I'm still in pain.
Am I going to get any meds?

They ask me:

Meds for what? (like I'm an idiot)


PAIN, my friends. I am in PAINNNNN.

This was news to them.


Sigh.

I finally get some pain meds.

Then they start booting me out the door.

There's nothing they can do for me. I'll have to go to the specialist.

Six hours. No antibiotics, no answers, and I had to FIGHT for a script for pain meds.


Needless to say, it was an awesome day.

I cannot wait for the bill.
In that nauseous, hyperventilating, panic attack kinda way.
[donations are now being accepted as of now, ha!]


I see a gastroenterologist tomorrow.

He will look over the ER results and schedule me for more tests.

For $200.

I'm not feeling hopeful that there will be any answers tomorrow, either.

Sigh.

I just saw a gastro six months ago.

Other than possible IBS, he said I was fine.

I've already been scoped down the throat, up the ass and scanned up down and sideways.

What is left?

I do not have the money for this nonsense.

But I'm tired of being in pain, and now I'm worried that it could be serious.

Hopefully not.

Wish  me luck, guys!