In regards to my last post, I want to state emphatically that I love my husband very much--he is very loving and doting (just not tidy), and that despite my hormonally-charged rants of yesterday, he is not dead. I didn't even yell.
Which is miraculous, given the fact I realize NOW, that my episode was probably brought on by the migraine that was building up in, and subsequently unleashed upon, my brain yesterday, at 6:30 pm.
Anyway....on to baby-related things!
Owen and I had our 20 week U/S on Monday, and everything looks GREAT. He hit all the appropriate measurements, is developing the way he should, his heartbeat is strong, and everything looks normal. The tech also said that he had long arms and legs (like his Daddy), so he'll probably be tall. Crazy, right? To me, he's just a tiny little monkey. I can't think of him as a man yet!
As you may have noticed, he is still a HE. Haha. It was doubly-confirmed. :)
I was also told that instead of being a few days into my 20th week, Owen was measuring more like 22, so we shall see.....
(as soon as I get them scanned, I'll post some U/S pics)
I'm just so happy that he's healthy! It was also really nice to have my husband there. He unfortunately wasn't present for the earlier U/S we'd had, so it was quite the moment for him.
He kept saying over and over:
"That was the most amazing thing I have ever seen! That's my son!"
It was adorable.
As far as planning for his arrival, it's FREAKING me out. Logistically, I mean.
So far, people have been awesome with offering us stuff, which is so GREAT, I just don't know where that hell to put it all. I'm waiting for some furniture to be moved, for my MIL to clean out the closet in our bedroom (its got her stuff in it, not ours, I promise), and then perhaps some real progress can be made.
Our registry is just about done, but it's looking more and more like I need to rethink our nursery furniture....
I registered for this really nice set that is transitional, growing with the child, but they're all pretty substantial pieces of furniture. Not having an actual nursery, or apartment for that matter, there's just no room for it. In addition, we've decided to co-sleep, so we won't need a crib anyway for quite some time--making the set kind of moot.
There is furniture that we DO need though, like a dresser to put Owen's things in, other storage pieces, and a small changing table.
Basically, I need to re-shop for smaller scale stuff that's better suited to a studio-type apartment than a home, if that makes sense.
I'm just afraid of falling into the trap of buying stuff that works in a pinch, but then won't last us down the road, much like our poverty-induced purchase of a Klippan couch....
As soon as I can tailor it down, I'll release the registry info for all of those who've been asking. :)
Baby Shower Info:
There's going to be two. Which is not a bad thing, I just don't want people to think I'm shower-greedy...
We had originally figured that we would just have a shower at the in-law's casa, because well, it's where we live. Then my mom decided that she was hosting (come hell or high water) the shower. A shower that is.....Wait for it.....
A Halloween-themed shower. Babies, pumpkins, and ghosts? She also wanted everyone to dress up. This was swiftly vetoed.
(For those of you who know my madre, this is not a surprise.)
The only problem with this is that my mom has a small house, and with all the people my mom has on her list, my MIL has on HER list, and my OWN list, there is no hope of it working out under that roof. On top of that, my MIL will not be in town the weekend my mom is holding the shower.
Then there were two.
The first one will be the 2nd or 3rd weekend of September (still trying to nail down dates with my ever-traveling ILs) at our house, and the 2nd one will take place the 3rd weekend of October at my mother's.
Now I'm tasked with trying to split up the guest list appropriately between the two parties. I want it to be a good mixture of people who know each other, you know?
Thankfully, my very talented friend has offered to do the invites for both showers, and the cake for the September shower. Her cakes are amazing, I'm stoked.
That's as far as I've gotten.
I'll update as more info is cemented!
Happy Fourth of July Weekend, Loves!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Attack of the Nagging Hausfrau.
Okay, so I am so BEYOND irritated right now, but I'm torn as to who I should be more irritated with: myself, or my husband.
Having moved in with his parents, we live in a very small space as compared to what we had before (a 2bd/2ba entire apt).
We now have:
Two bedrooms which are connected by a jack n' jill bathroom being used as our "apt.".
In that space, we have a small living room/office area, and then a bedroom area. Now, we are trying to negotiate how to fit our son into all of that as well.
This is a hard task. It's made harder by the fact that my darling spouse is a SLOB.
Trails everywhere he freakin' goes. Clothes strewn wherever he happens to take them off, crochet paraphernalia (yes, he crochets) here and there, whatever magazines or book he decides to flip through, dishes, shoes, etc.
Basically anything he touches/uses in his daily life gets scattered through our little abode.
It drives me FUCKING nuts. Partly because I am, in fact, a Type Aer who has inherited her mother's reverence for cleanliness (although not nearly as psychotic), but MOSTLY it's because a small space immediately becomes unlivable if it's not kept clean and organized.
And I have TRIED. I've let a lot of things go in the 2.5 years that we've cohabitated, and I've done my damnedest to try and give everything a place, so it's easy keep stuff picked up.
This does not register with him.
The thing is, I feel bad for getting mad at him about it. When we both worked, I didn't feel bad, but now that he's the only one working, I feel like the LEAST I can do is the housework. So now, I DO feel bad, because I feel like I'm not pulling my weight.
This feeling is not as a result of him either. He doesn't care if I clean or not. He's fine with the mess and overflowing baskets of laundry. I'm the one having the nervous breakdown about it.
Before I got pregnant, This wasn't that big of an issue. For the most part, even though I got annoyed from time to time, I did all of the cleaning/laundry, and that was that. But now, it's a different story.
I'm so tired. All the time! It seems like the messes are creeping up on me more and more frequently now. Oh, and the laundry. Good LORDY LOVIN', the laundry. There's always been a lot of it, because my husband is sweaty and changes at least twice in a day, but lately, it's just overwhelming. I can get it sorted, washed and dried, but by the time I get to the putting away/hanging up portion of the program, things fall apart.
I just don't have any energy or focus, which is worse than the fatigue.
So we end up with baskets of laundry lined up on our window seat or next to the bed, which end up being rifled through by the Hubster, and thus strewn throughout creation.
And a day like today will come, a day that is hot, one in which I am tired and headachy, where I look around our space and its piles of mess/laundry and try to imagine our son and all of his stuff coexisting with it all, only to realize that it's going to get SO MUCH WORSE.
--this is when I CRACK.
Yelling is imminent. My poor clueless spouse will walk in the door any minute now, and I will unleash a torrential bitchfest upon him.
But I don't want to. He works hard, and I SOOOO appreciate that. He doesn't care if I do nothing but sit on my ass and eat bonbons...
So what right do I have to chew him out for not putting away his crap?
But at the SAME TIME, shouldn't he put away at least some of it?
Sometimes as he sits there, after work, playing his Xbox, amid piles of laundry as I once again gather up his dishes, I briefly visualize strangling him with the controller cord and throwing the machine out the window....
Other times as he sits there, after work, detailing the mind-numbing day he had, amid the piles of bills he's trying so hard to pay, I'm so thankful that he's willing to do it and come home so happy to be with me every day.
Does any of this make any sense?
I think I just needed to vent.
Having moved in with his parents, we live in a very small space as compared to what we had before (a 2bd/2ba entire apt).
We now have:
Two bedrooms which are connected by a jack n' jill bathroom being used as our "apt.".
In that space, we have a small living room/office area, and then a bedroom area. Now, we are trying to negotiate how to fit our son into all of that as well.
This is a hard task. It's made harder by the fact that my darling spouse is a SLOB.
Trails everywhere he freakin' goes. Clothes strewn wherever he happens to take them off, crochet paraphernalia (yes, he crochets) here and there, whatever magazines or book he decides to flip through, dishes, shoes, etc.
Basically anything he touches/uses in his daily life gets scattered through our little abode.
It drives me FUCKING nuts. Partly because I am, in fact, a Type Aer who has inherited her mother's reverence for cleanliness (although not nearly as psychotic), but MOSTLY it's because a small space immediately becomes unlivable if it's not kept clean and organized.
And I have TRIED. I've let a lot of things go in the 2.5 years that we've cohabitated, and I've done my damnedest to try and give everything a place, so it's easy keep stuff picked up.
This does not register with him.
The thing is, I feel bad for getting mad at him about it. When we both worked, I didn't feel bad, but now that he's the only one working, I feel like the LEAST I can do is the housework. So now, I DO feel bad, because I feel like I'm not pulling my weight.
This feeling is not as a result of him either. He doesn't care if I clean or not. He's fine with the mess and overflowing baskets of laundry. I'm the one having the nervous breakdown about it.
Before I got pregnant, This wasn't that big of an issue. For the most part, even though I got annoyed from time to time, I did all of the cleaning/laundry, and that was that. But now, it's a different story.
I'm so tired. All the time! It seems like the messes are creeping up on me more and more frequently now. Oh, and the laundry. Good LORDY LOVIN', the laundry. There's always been a lot of it, because my husband is sweaty and changes at least twice in a day, but lately, it's just overwhelming. I can get it sorted, washed and dried, but by the time I get to the putting away/hanging up portion of the program, things fall apart.
I just don't have any energy or focus, which is worse than the fatigue.
So we end up with baskets of laundry lined up on our window seat or next to the bed, which end up being rifled through by the Hubster, and thus strewn throughout creation.
And a day like today will come, a day that is hot, one in which I am tired and headachy, where I look around our space and its piles of mess/laundry and try to imagine our son and all of his stuff coexisting with it all, only to realize that it's going to get SO MUCH WORSE.
--this is when I CRACK.
Yelling is imminent. My poor clueless spouse will walk in the door any minute now, and I will unleash a torrential bitchfest upon him.
But I don't want to. He works hard, and I SOOOO appreciate that. He doesn't care if I do nothing but sit on my ass and eat bonbons...
So what right do I have to chew him out for not putting away his crap?
But at the SAME TIME, shouldn't he put away at least some of it?
Sometimes as he sits there, after work, playing his Xbox, amid piles of laundry as I once again gather up his dishes, I briefly visualize strangling him with the controller cord and throwing the machine out the window....
Other times as he sits there, after work, detailing the mind-numbing day he had, amid the piles of bills he's trying so hard to pay, I'm so thankful that he's willing to do it and come home so happy to be with me every day.
Does any of this make any sense?
I think I just needed to vent.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sweet potato pancakes, grits, and gorgeous veils, OH my!
Today has been a weird day. First poor Farrah Fawcett lost her battle with cancer, and then MJ has a heart attack....While it is a sad day for the pop culture community and world at large, at risk of sounding disrespectful, I'm glad they're gone, b/c at least they're (hopefully) at peace. Ms. Fawcett was undoubtedly in immeasurable amounts of pain--in hell, and Mr. Jackson was well, immeasurably fucked up, so in his own brand of hell all the same.
But that's all I'm going to say about that....
On to happier things:
Our trip to Atlanta went REALLY well. It was so much fun, but OH MY SWELTERING. So hot!
Husband went off to "rough it" with the boys in the woods of North Carolina (if a swank cabin with flat screens, beds, and a jacuzzi coupled with frat-level drinking games are part of a general wilderness motif), and I stayed in Hotlanta with my new SIL and her friends. They were a fantastic group of women, and so sweet.
The weekend was filled with fantastic food (my life is forever-changed after the introduction of Moose Tracks), bridal celebrations, drunken texts (from the boys), silly pictures, and scandalous lingerie (all in the name of Jesus...lol).
All in all, the makings of a memorable weekend.
I loved getting to spend time with my SIL-to-be, as we really didn't know each other AT ALL before this trip. After, however, we've discovered a menagerie of commonalities and have made a pact. Haha.
The best part of the trip was being able to go with her to try on her dress and be a part of the veil-choosing. Dealing with the aging Southern Debutante, not so much.
To the woman's credit though, she did show us one of the coolest tricks to do with your veil that I have ever seen.
As far as little Owen, we are in 20th week, and feeling pretty good. All I want to do is eat, which kind of freaks me out, because I want to be really careful about my weight gain, and unfortunately, I'm not craving veggies and cottage cheese, if you know what I mean....
We have our scheduled U/S through the perinatal office on the 29th. This was supposed to be our anatomy screen, but as you all know, I jumped the gun, and went to a third-party place on my own.
I'm nervous that this U/S will tell us that it's a girl. Not that we'll be any LESS thrilled, it will just be kind of weird....like: JUST KIDDING. Sorry, Owen. You'll now be known as Olivia. Awkward!
In reality, all I care about is that he's healthy, which is why I love U/S's because you can get a more accurate reading of the heartbeat, position, movement, measurements, etc. If I had it my way, I'd have one every month! Haha.
In other baby news, I've started the prep for baby shower time!
I think I'll put all of that in a separate post though, as I'm starting to lose focus! Oy! Mommy brain!
But that's all I'm going to say about that....
On to happier things:
Our trip to Atlanta went REALLY well. It was so much fun, but OH MY SWELTERING. So hot!
Husband went off to "rough it" with the boys in the woods of North Carolina (if a swank cabin with flat screens, beds, and a jacuzzi coupled with frat-level drinking games are part of a general wilderness motif), and I stayed in Hotlanta with my new SIL and her friends. They were a fantastic group of women, and so sweet.
The weekend was filled with fantastic food (my life is forever-changed after the introduction of Moose Tracks), bridal celebrations, drunken texts (from the boys), silly pictures, and scandalous lingerie (all in the name of Jesus...lol).
All in all, the makings of a memorable weekend.
I loved getting to spend time with my SIL-to-be, as we really didn't know each other AT ALL before this trip. After, however, we've discovered a menagerie of commonalities and have made a pact. Haha.
The best part of the trip was being able to go with her to try on her dress and be a part of the veil-choosing. Dealing with the aging Southern Debutante, not so much.
To the woman's credit though, she did show us one of the coolest tricks to do with your veil that I have ever seen.
As far as little Owen, we are in 20th week, and feeling pretty good. All I want to do is eat, which kind of freaks me out, because I want to be really careful about my weight gain, and unfortunately, I'm not craving veggies and cottage cheese, if you know what I mean....
We have our scheduled U/S through the perinatal office on the 29th. This was supposed to be our anatomy screen, but as you all know, I jumped the gun, and went to a third-party place on my own.
I'm nervous that this U/S will tell us that it's a girl. Not that we'll be any LESS thrilled, it will just be kind of weird....like: JUST KIDDING. Sorry, Owen. You'll now be known as Olivia. Awkward!
In reality, all I care about is that he's healthy, which is why I love U/S's because you can get a more accurate reading of the heartbeat, position, movement, measurements, etc. If I had it my way, I'd have one every month! Haha.
In other baby news, I've started the prep for baby shower time!
I think I'll put all of that in a separate post though, as I'm starting to lose focus! Oy! Mommy brain!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
"Early Father's Day", and "To Crash, or not to Crash?"
Father's Day came early this year in our house. This was due to hectic travel schedules on everyone's part. My FIL is leaving tomorrow morning for a business trip, and then on Thursday, my husband and maybe myself (more on the maybe part in a minute), will be flying to Atlanta to visit his brother and his fiancee.
We won't be back until late Sunday night which meant that we had to celebrate this weekend....
I decided that for F Day, I really wanted to surprise my hubby with the baby's gender. How perfect is that, right?
Well, my OBGYN attempted to thwart my plans. He wanted me to wait until I was 20 (to date, I'm almost 19) weeks to have my ultrasound, so he scheduled me for the 22nd of June. Well, BOO on that, sir!
I was soooo bummed! But then, a friend suggested something brilliant:
Just go to one of those 3D imaging places, and pay them to do the ultrasound.
(She's a genius)
Off I went! Granted we're trying to save money and all, but this was too perfect!
After almost a half an hour of the baby hiding the goods, my MIL and I got the news:
It's a BOY!!
I totally started bawling. Happy Tears, of course!
I found the cutest little frames that have the "What are Boys Made of?" rhyme on them, and inserted the two best u/s pics....
We presented one to my FIL and one to my hubs last night.
The look on his face was PRICELESS. :)
He's over the MOON to be having a son, and it's kinda cool because my husband was the firstborn son to his parents, and the first grandchild to his parents, and our son will follow that line as well.
Get ready world, Owen Christopher Guillermo is on his way!
Now on on to the 2nd part of today's blog--
Like I mentioned at the top of this post, my husband and I are supposed to fly out on the 18th, and spend the weekend with his brother and our soon-to-be sister-in-law, to celebrate their respective bachelor/ette parties, but I think that I may be bowing out.
This makes me very sad, as I was really looking forward to spending time with them, but the problem is, well, our lodging arrangement while there.
My husband and I will not actually be together for most of the trip, as he'll be going out to the woods to rent a cabin and do "manly-man" man things with his brother and the other groomsmen.
I, on the other hand, will stay with my new SIL, as we celebrate bridal things, and have Girls Night Out, etc....
Awesome, I know. Except for the fact that I would spend three nights crashed on their couch in a very cool, but small loft-type studio.
This is going to make me sound like a spoiled brat, but I can't really crash on people's couches/floors anymore. Not with my 80-year-old-lady joints.
And as I mentioned before, pregnancy has compounded this problem quite a bit. I'm pretty much in pain all the time.
In the middle of the night, it's worse because of sleeping in one position or another for an extended period of time. I have a hard time getting up and out of bed, I have to hobble to the bathroom (constantly, as little man has taken up residence directly on my bladder), and sometimes I don't always make it, ahem, successfully. The pain and stiffness issue should go back to the level I'm used to after i give birth, but it doesn't help the situation at hand now.
As you can see, this doesn't really bode well for crashing on a couch (one that I have never seen, nor have any idea if it's actually big enough to handle a 5-months-pregnant disabled woman--both my BIL and SIL are no bigger than a minute), and navigating terrain in the dark that I'm not familiar with.
I just don't think it's going to end well, and my husband hasn't been okay with the arrangement from the get-go. He doesn't want me to be uncomfortable and sleepless for 3 days, but mostly, he's afraid I'll fall down and hurt myself.
At first, I just thought he was being a worry wort, but given my pain level these days and my recent falls, I've started to feel apprehensive myself.
Our original plan was to get me a hotel/motel room, so that the bathroom would be steps from the bed, and I'd be able to leave the bathroom lights on all night to help me see...
But as this trip is already breaking our bank as it is, that arrangement is out of the question.
I want to go! I'd hate to miss out on this, especially since we're missing out on the wedding in October.
So what's a girl to do? Do I just go armed with cane and a nightlight, suck it up, and hope for the best? Or do I resign myself to staying home?
Sometimes, my Cerebral Palsy really pisses me off.
But, I can't be too whiny. The most important thing is that my husband will get to spend some time with his brother, which he's stoked for, and lest we forget:
We're having a SON!
We won't be back until late Sunday night which meant that we had to celebrate this weekend....
I decided that for F Day, I really wanted to surprise my hubby with the baby's gender. How perfect is that, right?
Well, my OBGYN attempted to thwart my plans. He wanted me to wait until I was 20 (to date, I'm almost 19) weeks to have my ultrasound, so he scheduled me for the 22nd of June. Well, BOO on that, sir!
I was soooo bummed! But then, a friend suggested something brilliant:
Just go to one of those 3D imaging places, and pay them to do the ultrasound.
(She's a genius)
Off I went! Granted we're trying to save money and all, but this was too perfect!
After almost a half an hour of the baby hiding the goods, my MIL and I got the news:
It's a BOY!!
I totally started bawling. Happy Tears, of course!
I found the cutest little frames that have the "What are Boys Made of?" rhyme on them, and inserted the two best u/s pics....
We presented one to my FIL and one to my hubs last night.
The look on his face was PRICELESS. :)
He's over the MOON to be having a son, and it's kinda cool because my husband was the firstborn son to his parents, and the first grandchild to his parents, and our son will follow that line as well.
Get ready world, Owen Christopher Guillermo is on his way!
Now on on to the 2nd part of today's blog--
Like I mentioned at the top of this post, my husband and I are supposed to fly out on the 18th, and spend the weekend with his brother and our soon-to-be sister-in-law, to celebrate their respective bachelor/ette parties, but I think that I may be bowing out.
This makes me very sad, as I was really looking forward to spending time with them, but the problem is, well, our lodging arrangement while there.
My husband and I will not actually be together for most of the trip, as he'll be going out to the woods to rent a cabin and do "manly-man" man things with his brother and the other groomsmen.
I, on the other hand, will stay with my new SIL, as we celebrate bridal things, and have Girls Night Out, etc....
Awesome, I know. Except for the fact that I would spend three nights crashed on their couch in a very cool, but small loft-type studio.
This is going to make me sound like a spoiled brat, but I can't really crash on people's couches/floors anymore. Not with my 80-year-old-lady joints.
And as I mentioned before, pregnancy has compounded this problem quite a bit. I'm pretty much in pain all the time.
In the middle of the night, it's worse because of sleeping in one position or another for an extended period of time. I have a hard time getting up and out of bed, I have to hobble to the bathroom (constantly, as little man has taken up residence directly on my bladder), and sometimes I don't always make it, ahem, successfully. The pain and stiffness issue should go back to the level I'm used to after i give birth, but it doesn't help the situation at hand now.
As you can see, this doesn't really bode well for crashing on a couch (one that I have never seen, nor have any idea if it's actually big enough to handle a 5-months-pregnant disabled woman--both my BIL and SIL are no bigger than a minute), and navigating terrain in the dark that I'm not familiar with.
I just don't think it's going to end well, and my husband hasn't been okay with the arrangement from the get-go. He doesn't want me to be uncomfortable and sleepless for 3 days, but mostly, he's afraid I'll fall down and hurt myself.
At first, I just thought he was being a worry wort, but given my pain level these days and my recent falls, I've started to feel apprehensive myself.
Our original plan was to get me a hotel/motel room, so that the bathroom would be steps from the bed, and I'd be able to leave the bathroom lights on all night to help me see...
But as this trip is already breaking our bank as it is, that arrangement is out of the question.
I want to go! I'd hate to miss out on this, especially since we're missing out on the wedding in October.
So what's a girl to do? Do I just go armed with cane and a nightlight, suck it up, and hope for the best? Or do I resign myself to staying home?
Sometimes, my Cerebral Palsy really pisses me off.
But, I can't be too whiny. The most important thing is that my husband will get to spend some time with his brother, which he's stoked for, and lest we forget:
We're having a SON!
Monday, June 8, 2009
The Rundown...because a detailed, fluid post would require several hours of your reading time.
The Pregnancy so far: At 17 weeks
As you all know, I have had gnarly morning sickness and that has FINALLY gone away.
(unfortunately, the crushing sense of tired has not)
Now, I find myself insanely hungry every 2-3 hours. I'm guessing that 15 lbs I lost are going to come back with a vengeance. YIKES. I'm still finding it hard to eat that often though, because it just seems like so much!
In addition to VomitORama 09, I've also had 4 back-to-back bladder infections that started to become a kidney infection, and landed me in the ER for 2 days, but with a treatment of injection antibiotics the infection is gone....supposedly.
I'm still having pain and discomfort, but it can't exactly be classified as "cramping" and there's no bleeding, so the suggestion (via the ER docs) is that I go see a urologist, but I'm going to have to jump through hoops of fire to get that done, due to my crap (but much appreciated) insurance.
If that weren't special enough-
I've started getting stretch marks on my belly. This makes me very, VERY sad. Since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have been diligent in exfoliating and oiling up my boobs and belly in an attempt to avoid looking like a road map when this is all over, but Rand McNally, here I come! My husband promises to still love me. Hopefully.
My back and joints have been KILLING me, at times making it difficult to walk. This had me really worried until I realized that hey, I have Cerebral Palsy, and this is probably normal! After researching the topic, that idea was confirmed.
Nothing to be alarmed about, just careful of. This means I that I will probably have to purchase a cane sooner than I ever wanted to, and is kinda a blow to my ego, but I know I have to suck it up. I'm working on it.
Along those lines, I had my first falls while pregnant this weekend. I'm not hurt, and I didn't fall on my belly, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't scare the shit out of me. But again, after talking to people and doing some research, it is apparently common to occasionally fall on your ass during this whole process.
I also fainted at Disneyland. I'm fine, but I thought my poor hubby's heart was going to pop. They think it was due to dehydration.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and yes, I plan on discussing all of the above things with him. I'd also really like for him to do an ultrasound just for safe measure, but I'm not sure he'll go for it. I am however, demanding an internal exam.
Everyone keeps asking about the gender: we don't know yet, and it's killing us. The ER did one when I was in there (for the bladder brouhaha) on the 28th of May, to make sure that the baby was okay, and the doctor doing it told us that we should be able to tell now, but our puritanical progeny would not move it's knees and show us the goods. I was sooo disappointed. As for our scheduled gender u/s, the doctor wants to wait until the end of the month. This bums me out EVEN FURTHER, because I really wanted to know in time for Father's Day. Dammit!
As for my last post, we'll still FREAKING out about our current financial situation, but after mulling it over 8 ways to Sunday, we realized that we're doing all that we can possibly do right now, and eating ourselves up about it is just causing fruitless misery, so we're just taking it day-by-day, and still fervently hoping for a miracle.
Speaking of money though, we are desperately trying to find a way to get/save up for a new bed. We have decided that we want to co-sleep with the baby after lots of reading and research, and as such, need to upgrade to a King-sized mattress. One that is quality, but doesn't cost us our souls. Based on the prices we've seen so far, this could be one epic quest. Keep your fingers crossed for us, and eyes peeled!
What else?
I'm starting to feel human again, and am moving into total-nesting mode. I keep trying to think of what to clean and organize so that I can feel productive and prepared, but according to several of my friends, I really just need to sit my ass down....Hmmmm. I know that THAT is EXACTLY what I would tell (and have told) any pregnant friend of mine, but I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept.
Well, that about wraps it up! I think. But as pregnancy has liquefied my brain and is slowly stealing my intellect, I've probably forgotten a million things I wanted to say.
I'll probably post tomorrow after I get back from the doctor. I hope it goes well. I ALWAYS panic a little before every appointment....
As you all know, I have had gnarly morning sickness and that has FINALLY gone away.
(unfortunately, the crushing sense of tired has not)
Now, I find myself insanely hungry every 2-3 hours. I'm guessing that 15 lbs I lost are going to come back with a vengeance. YIKES. I'm still finding it hard to eat that often though, because it just seems like so much!
In addition to VomitORama 09, I've also had 4 back-to-back bladder infections that started to become a kidney infection, and landed me in the ER for 2 days, but with a treatment of injection antibiotics the infection is gone....supposedly.
I'm still having pain and discomfort, but it can't exactly be classified as "cramping" and there's no bleeding, so the suggestion (via the ER docs) is that I go see a urologist, but I'm going to have to jump through hoops of fire to get that done, due to my crap (but much appreciated) insurance.
If that weren't special enough-
I've started getting stretch marks on my belly. This makes me very, VERY sad. Since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have been diligent in exfoliating and oiling up my boobs and belly in an attempt to avoid looking like a road map when this is all over, but Rand McNally, here I come! My husband promises to still love me. Hopefully.
My back and joints have been KILLING me, at times making it difficult to walk. This had me really worried until I realized that hey, I have Cerebral Palsy, and this is probably normal! After researching the topic, that idea was confirmed.
Nothing to be alarmed about, just careful of. This means I that I will probably have to purchase a cane sooner than I ever wanted to, and is kinda a blow to my ego, but I know I have to suck it up. I'm working on it.
Along those lines, I had my first falls while pregnant this weekend. I'm not hurt, and I didn't fall on my belly, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't scare the shit out of me. But again, after talking to people and doing some research, it is apparently common to occasionally fall on your ass during this whole process.
I also fainted at Disneyland. I'm fine, but I thought my poor hubby's heart was going to pop. They think it was due to dehydration.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and yes, I plan on discussing all of the above things with him. I'd also really like for him to do an ultrasound just for safe measure, but I'm not sure he'll go for it. I am however, demanding an internal exam.
Everyone keeps asking about the gender: we don't know yet, and it's killing us. The ER did one when I was in there (for the bladder brouhaha) on the 28th of May, to make sure that the baby was okay, and the doctor doing it told us that we should be able to tell now, but our puritanical progeny would not move it's knees and show us the goods. I was sooo disappointed. As for our scheduled gender u/s, the doctor wants to wait until the end of the month. This bums me out EVEN FURTHER, because I really wanted to know in time for Father's Day. Dammit!
As for my last post, we'll still FREAKING out about our current financial situation, but after mulling it over 8 ways to Sunday, we realized that we're doing all that we can possibly do right now, and eating ourselves up about it is just causing fruitless misery, so we're just taking it day-by-day, and still fervently hoping for a miracle.
Speaking of money though, we are desperately trying to find a way to get/save up for a new bed. We have decided that we want to co-sleep with the baby after lots of reading and research, and as such, need to upgrade to a King-sized mattress. One that is quality, but doesn't cost us our souls. Based on the prices we've seen so far, this could be one epic quest. Keep your fingers crossed for us, and eyes peeled!
What else?
I'm starting to feel human again, and am moving into total-nesting mode. I keep trying to think of what to clean and organize so that I can feel productive and prepared, but according to several of my friends, I really just need to sit my ass down....Hmmmm. I know that THAT is EXACTLY what I would tell (and have told) any pregnant friend of mine, but I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept.
Well, that about wraps it up! I think. But as pregnancy has liquefied my brain and is slowly stealing my intellect, I've probably forgotten a million things I wanted to say.
I'll probably post tomorrow after I get back from the doctor. I hope it goes well. I ALWAYS panic a little before every appointment....
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Baby needs a new pair of shoes!
I'm in the midst of a FREAK OUT. Not just right this second, but for probably about the last week...
We are broke. I mean, brokety-ass-brokety BROKE.
Thankfully, we make all of our bills, but that's it.
There's no savings, and there's no emergency fund.
We don't even make enough to pay real rent, so it's a good thing we're living with my in-laws.
We're having a baby. HOLY MOTHER OF G-D.
I don't know what to do. Ironically, we can't bring in any more income, or we'll lose the Medi-Cal that we have for the baby.
Even if I could work, my doctor has said that I shouldn't, and my poor husband was trying to find a 2nd job BEFORE I got pregnant, and couldn't find anything to save his life.
Now, even if he could FIND something, he wouldn't be able to take it, because we can't afford to lose the medi-cal, but we also can't afford to not to bring in more dinero....
Ummm, yeah. Stuck between a rock and a poor place.
In an effort to try and do what we can, we consolidated all of our credit cards (all of which save for one, was in my name because of my husband's lack of credit history) and started what the company calls a: Debt Management Plan-DMP, which will reduce our monthly out-go of credit card payments by quite a bit.
We were hoping to put that money we "saved" toward an emergency fund and toward saving for the baby, BUT now we're terrified that my husband's car is close to death.
If the "CHECK ENGINE" light comes on one more time, I'm going to lose it.
We're hoping the car will at least eek out for another year....oh, please, little car, hear my cry!
But even with saving that bit of money every month, it still doesn't allow us to become financially stable enough to move out.
Especially with the credit consolidation now.
My credit history which I spent 10 years building, is now dust, and will be for the next five years.
I'm jobless, credit cardless, credit historyless, and pregnant.
Excuse me while I collapse into panic attack/coronary.
I went from bringing in a full-time income, having a great credit score and an established credit history to THIS, in a ONE YEAR.
I have never been this dependent on another human being (that being my husband) in my life. It's terrifying. I don't like it.
That is not to say that I blame my husband for any of it (and I'm so thankful that he doesn't blame me EITHER), or that I would change anything really, it just blows my mind how quickly things can shift.
We just don't know what to do.
We desperately want to find a way to move out of my in-laws house.
Not because it's a horrible place to live, but because we just want to not feel like failures, but at the same time, we know it would be idiotic to try and leave before we're truly stable, not just for our sakes, but for the sake of our child as well.
Until we can find a way to make a substantial second income, or be granted a miracle, we'll be camping here for a while.
Most of the people in our lives have been really supportive of our having to move in to my husband's parents, but then there are those that treat it like we ended up here because we were irresponsible assholes, who didn't try hard enough, which is really unnerving.
Worse than that though, are the people who assume that because we're living with the 'rents, who happen to be "comfortable" shall we say, that all of our troubles are over, our bills are being paid, our debts are settled, and now we're just lazy.
Yes, we live with my husband's parents, and yes, it is a pretty swank place to live, and yes, they have helped us, BUT they are NOT just handing out money to us like confetti...
Ummmm, I WISH.
Who wouldn't want someone to come in, fairy godmother-style and say: Don't worry! I've got this!?
But alas, that is not so.
They have their own financial ecosystem to maintain, thank you.
We pay are own bills, and on one income (particularly in So. CA), it's pretty tight.
We are not whiny and spoiled, I promise.
Some people just like to run their mouths...ahem.
If that wasn't enough, my husband's parents really want him to go back to school.
Which, in theory, is great.
I want my husband to be able to do that too, but given the current state of things, the idea of adding another mountain of student loans to the range of financial clusters we ALREADY have paralyzes us both with terror.
But that is another post for another night.
I don't have the strength for it now.....
We are broke. I mean, brokety-ass-brokety BROKE.
Thankfully, we make all of our bills, but that's it.
There's no savings, and there's no emergency fund.
We don't even make enough to pay real rent, so it's a good thing we're living with my in-laws.
We're having a baby. HOLY MOTHER OF G-D.
I don't know what to do. Ironically, we can't bring in any more income, or we'll lose the Medi-Cal that we have for the baby.
Even if I could work, my doctor has said that I shouldn't, and my poor husband was trying to find a 2nd job BEFORE I got pregnant, and couldn't find anything to save his life.
Now, even if he could FIND something, he wouldn't be able to take it, because we can't afford to lose the medi-cal, but we also can't afford to not to bring in more dinero....
Ummm, yeah. Stuck between a rock and a poor place.
In an effort to try and do what we can, we consolidated all of our credit cards (all of which save for one, was in my name because of my husband's lack of credit history) and started what the company calls a: Debt Management Plan-DMP, which will reduce our monthly out-go of credit card payments by quite a bit.
We were hoping to put that money we "saved" toward an emergency fund and toward saving for the baby, BUT now we're terrified that my husband's car is close to death.
If the "CHECK ENGINE" light comes on one more time, I'm going to lose it.
We're hoping the car will at least eek out for another year....oh, please, little car, hear my cry!
But even with saving that bit of money every month, it still doesn't allow us to become financially stable enough to move out.
Especially with the credit consolidation now.
My credit history which I spent 10 years building, is now dust, and will be for the next five years.
I'm jobless, credit cardless, credit historyless, and pregnant.
Excuse me while I collapse into panic attack/coronary.
I went from bringing in a full-time income, having a great credit score and an established credit history to THIS, in a ONE YEAR.
I have never been this dependent on another human being (that being my husband) in my life. It's terrifying. I don't like it.
That is not to say that I blame my husband for any of it (and I'm so thankful that he doesn't blame me EITHER), or that I would change anything really, it just blows my mind how quickly things can shift.
We just don't know what to do.
We desperately want to find a way to move out of my in-laws house.
Not because it's a horrible place to live, but because we just want to not feel like failures, but at the same time, we know it would be idiotic to try and leave before we're truly stable, not just for our sakes, but for the sake of our child as well.
Until we can find a way to make a substantial second income, or be granted a miracle, we'll be camping here for a while.
Most of the people in our lives have been really supportive of our having to move in to my husband's parents, but then there are those that treat it like we ended up here because we were irresponsible assholes, who didn't try hard enough, which is really unnerving.
Worse than that though, are the people who assume that because we're living with the 'rents, who happen to be "comfortable" shall we say, that all of our troubles are over, our bills are being paid, our debts are settled, and now we're just lazy.
Yes, we live with my husband's parents, and yes, it is a pretty swank place to live, and yes, they have helped us, BUT they are NOT just handing out money to us like confetti...
Ummmm, I WISH.
Who wouldn't want someone to come in, fairy godmother-style and say: Don't worry! I've got this!?
But alas, that is not so.
They have their own financial ecosystem to maintain, thank you.
We pay are own bills, and on one income (particularly in So. CA), it's pretty tight.
We are not whiny and spoiled, I promise.
Some people just like to run their mouths...ahem.
If that wasn't enough, my husband's parents really want him to go back to school.
Which, in theory, is great.
I want my husband to be able to do that too, but given the current state of things, the idea of adding another mountain of student loans to the range of financial clusters we ALREADY have paralyzes us both with terror.
But that is another post for another night.
I don't have the strength for it now.....
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Pregnancy is a pain in the ass.
I know. I KNOW. How dare I, right? I feel guilty for even typing it, let alone THINKING it....
but it IS. It's a pain in the ass.
There's the mind-numbing fatigue, the complete loss of your previous abilities to focus, remember and/or retain information, there's the copious amount of vomiting, plus gas and heartburn. And don't forget the peeing. ALWAYS peeing.
(I'll save the skin and bodily changes for my next post....Oooh, something to look forward to!)
I am so tired, that all I do is sleep.
Women who work/go to school while pregnant are now my new superheroes. I don't know how they do it! They deserve medals and parades.
The other day, it took me six hours just to get dressed, write an email, and put away 3 baskets of laundry. 6 HOURS, people. I don't have other children or a job, that was all I did all day...
And I was exhausted!
I have also become dumber. I can't remember how to spell things, I have difficulty paying attention, My husband has to repeat himself, it's a mess.
Oh, and the vomiting: There's no "glow," just shades of green and broken blood vessels all around my eyes and across the bridge of my nose. Food is the enemy and I've gotten to the point where I'm slightly afraid to eat. I've started picking foods based on their ease of regurgitation.
Gross, but totally true.
Next, we have gas and heartburn--
With the way I've been belching and farting, you'd think I was a trucker! My favorite part? I seem to have no control over any of it. I'll open my mouth to speak, and instead, out comes a loud rumbly burp. In the middle of a quiet restaurant, no less.
It's 3:30am and I'm wide awake with heartburn and and stomachache. Damn Italian.
Finally, there's the peeing. I probably pee every fifteen minutes. Going an hour between bathroom breaks is like marathon status.
If I cough too hard, I pee a little.
If I throw up, it's a sure bet that I will pee.
Good sneeze? It's over!
So I've started wearing pads 24/7...and it's early in my pregnancy still. By the end, I'm going to have to drop all pretenses of dignity and just give into Depends. Shudder!
Pain in the ASS, I tell you!
But that's okay. I'd go through all of this tenfold to have our baby.
It's always been said that you have to work hard for what you really want, so armed with my super absorbent pads, my prenatal vitamins and my chuck bucket, I say:
LET'S DO THIS.
That, however, does not mean that I won't bitch about it from time to time, no matter how grateful I may be for this opportunity.
I'm sorry, but peeing your pants while puking your guts out is like salt in the wounds....just mean!
but it IS. It's a pain in the ass.
There's the mind-numbing fatigue, the complete loss of your previous abilities to focus, remember and/or retain information, there's the copious amount of vomiting, plus gas and heartburn. And don't forget the peeing. ALWAYS peeing.
(I'll save the skin and bodily changes for my next post....Oooh, something to look forward to!)
I am so tired, that all I do is sleep.
Women who work/go to school while pregnant are now my new superheroes. I don't know how they do it! They deserve medals and parades.
The other day, it took me six hours just to get dressed, write an email, and put away 3 baskets of laundry. 6 HOURS, people. I don't have other children or a job, that was all I did all day...
And I was exhausted!
I have also become dumber. I can't remember how to spell things, I have difficulty paying attention, My husband has to repeat himself, it's a mess.
Oh, and the vomiting: There's no "glow," just shades of green and broken blood vessels all around my eyes and across the bridge of my nose. Food is the enemy and I've gotten to the point where I'm slightly afraid to eat. I've started picking foods based on their ease of regurgitation.
Gross, but totally true.
Next, we have gas and heartburn--
With the way I've been belching and farting, you'd think I was a trucker! My favorite part? I seem to have no control over any of it. I'll open my mouth to speak, and instead, out comes a loud rumbly burp. In the middle of a quiet restaurant, no less.
It's 3:30am and I'm wide awake with heartburn and and stomachache. Damn Italian.
Finally, there's the peeing. I probably pee every fifteen minutes. Going an hour between bathroom breaks is like marathon status.
If I cough too hard, I pee a little.
If I throw up, it's a sure bet that I will pee.
Good sneeze? It's over!
So I've started wearing pads 24/7...and it's early in my pregnancy still. By the end, I'm going to have to drop all pretenses of dignity and just give into Depends. Shudder!
Pain in the ASS, I tell you!
But that's okay. I'd go through all of this tenfold to have our baby.
It's always been said that you have to work hard for what you really want, so armed with my super absorbent pads, my prenatal vitamins and my chuck bucket, I say:
LET'S DO THIS.
That, however, does not mean that I won't bitch about it from time to time, no matter how grateful I may be for this opportunity.
I'm sorry, but peeing your pants while puking your guts out is like salt in the wounds....just mean!
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