Wednesday, October 13, 2010

DUDE. That was.... so.not.okay.

Let's talk about this morning...

I'm not even going to get into the preparations that were required for this event.

[Let's just say that no one ever wants to pee outta their ass. It's just not sexy.]

So we arrived bright and early to the hospital at 8am this morning.

I was hungry and exhausted.

I get in there and they start the prep and the nurse informs me that not only are they scoping my "back door," they'll be scoping my throat...

I was not aware of this.

After a brief panic, I quieted my flight response by reminding myself of the heavy sedation.

Everyone I know that has had a colonoscopy said that they felt nothing and remembered even less.

It was going to be all anesthesia and roses!

Well, my friends:


I felt EVERYTHING and remembered EVERYTHING.

I kept trying to tell them that something was not right as I cried out in pain, but they kept reassuring me that I had been given plenty of sedation, and any more would be dangerous.

[I honestly don't know if they just didn't give me enough, or if my drip just wasn't effective-I can't tell you what the hell happened, but I was not sedated properly.]

So trying not to sob*, I got through the rest.

When I asked if they were already done with the throat portion, the nurse cheerfully replied:

"See, Honey? You were sedated, you don't even remember that we did it."

Oh, I remembered, lady. It was just quicker than I thought, and I was afraid there might be more.

By the end, as the fear subsided, I was pissed.

When they read the after-care instructions to me and the Hubs before the procedure, we were told that I would be so out of it that I wouldn't even be able to dress myself, and we need help getting up/going to the bathroom for the REST of the DAY.

Out of it, you say? I think NOT.

IMMEDIATELY after the procedure, I slammed back two cups of apple juice, dressed MYSELF, gathered up my discharge papers and got the hell outta dodge.

I came home, ate some lunch, chatted with our baby sitter, changed my clothes and cuddled with my son.

I was as coherent as my intestines are long.


I don't know if I should file a complaint. I don't want to be *that* lady, but it was kinda horrifying.

I've been ill at ease all day.

I took some pain pills, and took a long nap, hoping I would wake up feeling better about the whole thing, but I'm still just as upset.

I am being overly dramatic?

I won't have any news about the outcome of the colonoscopy/throat scope until the results of the biopsies come back some time next week.

I'll keep y'all in the loop as I get more info.

*During my 2003 sexual assault, I was entered anally repeatedly, so I don't like anything being forced up my butt, medically necessary or not. Anything of that nature brings back things I'd rather not remember.


kristi said...

I am soooo sorry to hear what you went through!! I think you absolutely SHOULD complain! The anesthesiologist needs to know that his math was totally NOT correct and you may help others! I can say I actually can share your pain because in college I had to have a surgical procedure on my jaw and I felt/heard everything too! The worst part was that I was under just enough to not have the ability to move or speak. AARGGH! Freaks me out to this day!!


Britt said...

Jesus H Fuck! Honey! First of all, a million apologies and hugs and cups of chamomile tea while watching Eddie Izzard; you NEED to file a complaint! Someone has to be *that* lady. What if they do that to a 12 year old or something and it screws them up for life? I would say something. You don't need to file a lawsuit or anything, but they need to know they most certainly effed up and you are dis-effing-pleased. Were you not so strong, this could have done irreversible damage to you as well. You have every right to feel violated and angry. You WERE violated! I'm so mad at those jerkwads! GRR! Wish I was there to give hugs!

Happy Fun Pants said...

Oh...that is definitely NOT okay.

I'm so sorry - but I hope that you did file a complaint.

God. I don't even know what to do or say to make it better.

I'm just so sorry. How violating! :(

YourFutureWife said...

Maybe this trauma was the settlement you've been waiting for! Start Googling your rights! If anyone deserves to be litigious it's you! Sorry you had to survive that, but you did and I'm proud of you for it. Hope the results come back in your favor and the trauma was worth something! - Erin

he calls me wifey said...

I can't believe how through all of this crap you went through you can still write it all in such a way that makes me laugh out loud.

I mean, it is NOT funny that you went through that and that those jerks would patronize you in such a way. It's also SO NOT funny that it reminded you of your sexual assault. For those things I feel pain for you, but damn through it all you have such a way of making your reader laugh out loud.

you just have that gift of finding the humor in the situation, or at least helping us find the humor.

(I hope what I'm saying is making sense to you otherwise it may sound mean on my part which is totally not what I'm trying to express)

he calls me wifey said...

i think this was my favorite:

"I was as coherent as my intestines are long.