Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Blog Posts from the EDGE.

Not to be melodramatical or anything, but I think I might be headed for a bit of a nervous break down...

If you've been reading along as of late, you know things aren't so peachy.

I'm a clinically depressed pregnant and unmedicated mama of a 2yo old with more than a dash of chronic illnesses...

Eh. Whatevs. Right? Right.

Then I found out I might have cancer.

Then someone rear-ended us and fucked up our car.

Then my Huz's Nana died.

I'm feeling tons of guilt on that front, b/c I loved his Nana and I so wish I could fly out with him for the funeral, but it's not my focus.

My focus is on the baby growing in my belly and the possible cancer that could be invading my reproductive system...

Meanwhile-

the boy got sick.
Then I got sick
All in the last week.

Now my husband is sick, and I'm just getting sicker. Pretty sure we all need antibiotics...

Also fairly certain I have an ear infection, and frankly, I want to crawl in bed and die.

All of that I can handle...

What I can't, is the email from my Ob's office informing me that the earliest I can expect biopsy results is tomorrow morning.

My Huz gets on a plane to West Virginia for his Nana's funeral tomorrow morning at 5 am...

So IF I get the call tomorrow, I'm going to be ALONE.

If it's good news, as in:

"Hey, it's still just severe pre-cancer, so no worries! We'll just do a hysterectomy after you deliver. Easy Peasy, gurl!"

Then I'll do a little dance with O, call my husband, and maybe, finally breathe. Through my mouth though, as my nose is filled with snot...

If it's bad news, as in:

"You have Cancer, and we need to discuss your 'options' in regards to your pregnancy and treatment"


I may just go off the deep-end.
I'm stretched a tad thin...

Send up some lovin' for me if you can.


Thanks so much to all of you who's been on top of that so awesomely already.

Love you crazy kids.

10 comments:

thepsychobabble said...

(hugs)The Band is here for you.

Cave Momma said...

If I can do anything let me know. I know I'm not close but I'm willing to drive. I can come by without kids and just help take care of things and you guys. Seriously. Please don't hesitate to ask.

toywithme said...

You're never alone! The Band is always with you! Sending love, hugs and positive vibes your way!!

From Tracie said...

Sending you all sorts of love, and a lot of prayers.

Stasha said...

Thinking of you always.

And sending prayers up for you, Mama.

Danna said...

I'm here for you my dear. Sending you BIG hugs and love, xoxo

Chibi said...

Love you dear heart. Praying extra hard tonight and hold your hand virtually. <3

Leighannn said...

you would have found out the news by now..
I'm a little late to the party.
I'm praying HARD for youl

Jaime White said...

Sending you lots of love my friend. Let me know how you are. Xoxo.

Jaime White said...

Sending you lots of love my friend. Let me know how you are. Xoxo.