The mom that is always inappropriately dressed....
Boobs 'a Brazen-
Too Much for Tots-
Cut Down to her Carnals- kind of Mama.
We'll all seen it.
We've all sighed
Shook our heads...
I feel like I'm totally that mom at play gym....
I've got some boobs. Always have.
42 F is not something that goes unnoticed.
They announce themselves before I even finish coming thru the door.
It's a little less alarming now that I'm a bigger girl (sigh), but they still say hello to ya right off that bat...
Just cover them up, right? A good turtleneck, and we're on the modesty train! Chaaaaaste! Chaaaaste!
But I fucking.hate.turtlenecks.
I hate anything high-necked.
I have a hard time wearing collared shirts.
I don't like anything around my neck.
It's tough to even wear necklaces sometimes.
So I tend to wear v-necks, tanks, and the like.
But when you're heftin' that much up top? Everything is a "tit-top." Cleavage Carnivale!
Before I became a Mama-not much of an issue, the cleaves of my bosoms were tasteful (most of the time. Ahem.) --but now that I have a little monkey who uses the fronts of my shirts as leverage, and needs me to bend over and crawl around on the floor? NotSoMUCH.
I am sooooo that mom.
Whether I mean to be or not.
This is a real issue with me. I have a "thing"about my neck.
But you can't exactly say:
Hey, fellow parents! While I know you may think I'm the trashy mom that's trying to flash her goods and steal a husband-it's actually QUITE the funny story.... You see, as a kid, I got the shit choked out of me a lot. So stuff around my neck? Not too comfy. So, now you know this is all a silly misunderstanding! We're all totally gonna laugh about this later, right? Right??!
That little anecdote is bombing with the "Circle Time crowd," for sure.
Then a flash of brilliance! I'll wear my husband's tees to play gym! Yes! Coverage!
The neck will drive me nuts, but I don't care! I want to make friends, damn it!
Then I put one on and realized that I was fast-tracking myself onto an episode of What Not To Wear, right quick....
In South County OC, being the frumpy mom is seen as waaay worse than the breasty mom...True.Story.
Normally, I wouldn't give two shits about what someone thought of me, but when little ones are involved, it's good to toe the line a bit...have I mentioned that I want to make friends? Just one? Maybe?
My plan is this:
I can't go out and get a new wardrobe at the moment, so I'm going to go the undershirt route...men's, that is....
|ModelMan's a little chesty himself...|
I think these will work under a cuter top...not the epitome of a fashionista, but please. I wasn't ever in that category anyway. Best part? My neck is free, but the girls are locked down! Yay!
It's worth a shot, no?
We'll see what develops.....